Things I learned living in the South A possum is a flat - TopicsExpress



          

Things I learned living in the South A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. There are 10,001 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, Plus a couple no ones ever seen before. If it grows, itll stick ya. If it crawls, itll bite cha. Onced and Twiced are words. It is not a shopping cart... It is a buggy! Jawl-P? Means, did you all go to the bathroom? People actually grow, eat and like okra. Fixinto is one word. It means Im going to do that. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then theres supper. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when youre two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, Did you eat? You dont have to wear a watch, because it doesnt matter what time it is, You work until youre done or its too dark to see. You dont PUSH buttons... YouMASH em. Yall is singular. All yall is plural. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, But it requires 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name) or Mr. (first name). You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. You know what a hissy fit is.. Fried catfish is the other white meat. We dont need no dang Drivers Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!! You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends And those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 03:55:55 +0000

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