Things have, believe it or not, actually gotten significantly worse in the facts of my life. Here is not a place for details, on that. As I learned at the NPS conference from Dr. Susan Guzman, I am not my disability, I have learned that I am also not my depression or anxiety, especially as they are interlinked to the disability, (yes, almost everything that has been bad or very challenging in my life in relation to my body and brain is, at least in part, due to gene lmx1b and the *at least* 52 other genes is affects since it is a transcription factor -- forgive me if my science jargon is off, bio was a long time ago and) I learned too much in one pain-filled weekend to process it all. I am slowly learning more in a long-term memory way. But I do know, no matter how many times someone else metaphorically bashes me over the head with a label, I am not that label. Sometimes, it just takes a little reminding, re-reading things that have helped me learn, stuff like that. Being verbally attacked does not make it truth (or, man, would some crazy stuff be true! Lets just say some of those that have verbally accosted me, have not had a firm grip on reality) I am not a set of symptoms. I have a syndrome, and other interrelated symptoms, some of which are psychological in nature. However, for the record, I am in therapy with a wonderful practitioner who specializes in chronic pain and illness, who I hope to go back to making progress on in those areas as soon as I deal with new things that have arisen, I am seeking another therapist that has specialties my current does not for that something new that is also something very old, but finally not hidden. I am also in search of a psychiatrist with experience in chronic pain that can consult with the NPS Psych specialist that I also met at the conference (it really was life changing, and actually in a good way!), who hopefully will also have experience in the newly-needed or be able to consult someone on it. If anyone has any suggestions of someone who will fit a girl in crisis in before January, let me know. I am not big on outside chemicals used to change the internal brain chemistry--since our every thought, feeling, sensation, etc. is a chemical reaction in the brain. But sometimes, one needs to get out of the ditch, with some help from outside the head and talk-based therapy.
Posted on: Sun, 17 Nov 2013 03:12:15 +0000
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