Things you may have asked, want to ask, or would never ask, but still would like to know. HOW AM I DOING? The answer I give is OK. Kind of a mixed bag of feelings, but OK. HOW AM I DOING, REALLY? This may be code for are you depressed? Suicidal? No. Im OK. DID I KNOW LEE WAS GOING TO DIE? Yes. Because we are all going to die someday. If you mean did I know he was going to pass on Sept 11th, 2014. No, I did not. If I did I wouldnt have gone to work the night before and at the very least, I would have gone to the hospital after work. HAVE I CRIED YET! No, I have not. Ive been teary eyed and choked up a few times, but I havent cried. If this concerns you, it concerns me too. I cry over a lot of things. I dont know why, I havent yet. I think when it starts it will be awhile before it stops. Two weeks have passed. And life goes on, as it always does. Im overwhelmed with the things I need to do. So, many people have offered their help, but these things I have to do myself. The things I have to get done, I dance around. I let myself get distracted by things that can wait. My Handler (aka baby sister Patty) has made some calls for me, to move along insurance companies and such. Im picking through the pile slowly. A few thank you notes have been sent. A few more are done, just needing addressed. And there are more to do. I have no problem falling asleep at night, but no matter what Im awake at 4AM everyday. Usually I very easily take naps, but now though I try I think my brain doesnt stop long enough to let me sleep. This past year Ive been use to Lee not being here at night. Since the invention of the cell phone, even if a day passed that we didnt see each other, we always talked. I have those moments where something happens or pops into my mind and I think, I have to tell Lee and then the realization hits. So thankful for all the support I have from family and friends. Sister Patty has got me going to the gym. Friend Gale is going to have me sewing this weekend. Classmates got me to go to yearly get together, that I havent been able to go to in the past. I was only going to stay an hour and I was there a lot longer than that. Thankful for my nieces and nephews who are wonderful, joyful distractions. Thankful for faith in God. For reassurance that Lee has received his great reward. Thank you for all the prayers and support.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 01:18:52 +0000
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