Things you ponder when you’re grown or maybe it’s just me… I Am 30 Now by: Jerrin Holt Written and Copyrighted - 2013 Fresh off the stiletto heels of summer romances The morning reached into my skin and forced me to become aware Upon the exit of home and my entry into the world, the early morning chill in the air spoke of change An allusion to the possibility of facing the approaching cold season…alone I usually never worry about such things, but things have changed I am 30 now Age has never held a high card in the deck of my life, but…I am 30 now Never have I been here before nor seen life outside the perspective of a young king in his 20s And truth be told, I feel the transition Stakes have risen Anticipation to grab an excessive amount of what is owed to me feels necessary Time is brushing its warm strokes throughout my life A decade has passed and now I own the full attention and admiration of my son My daughters are solidifying as walking, babble and teeth have become their norm These three people for which I live are pacing towards different points of independence and I am not sure I welcome it But who am I to resent time? To despise progress or the privilege of watching children grow into those you can no longer protect The mere thoughts have brought about tear-filled memories of what used to be and what will never be again Yes, I certainly am 30 now And with the acquirement of age, my buried fears push closer to the surface of my brass persona For the strength of my hands are not what they used to be I faintly feel supremacy leaving my grip only to nestle within the eye of my mind This is what my elders conveyed as they gave me life lessons on how to acquire power through wisdom Time and time again I find myself needing a bit more than I can manage to muster on my own And it is wisdom that lowers me to my knees and places the voice of my soul on a transient path straight to God’s ear Intimate moments ensue as I bow my crown to THE CROWN And when I am finished admitting my faults and expressing my confusion and needs I rise, engulfed in faith because I cannot afford to not believe In return, I am given encouragement and covering Two offered advantages I took for granted when I was younger Today, I know better…indeed I am 30 now But my intentions for expressing my truth were not to place my offspring or even my praying moments in your lap I wrote this for myself in an attempt to define the morning chill in the air and what it means at this moment and time in my life For I am a man with everything to lose and everything to gain even though I don’t know exactly how But I assure you I will gain the necessary understanding because truth be told…I feel the transition
Posted on: Wed, 25 Sep 2013 14:41:33 +0000