Think youre ready for kids? Let me give you a quick rundown of my day. 6 am Im suddenly woke up by the realization that Sophia, who is in bed with me due to her trying to wake up at 3 am, has managed to take off all her pjs and her diaper and at any moment could make me wish I could afford to buy a new mattress. After jumping out of bed half asleep, blinding myself with the light and getting her a new diaper I get to lay in bed listening to the same episode of bubble guppies I hear every time she thinks such an ungodly hour is a good time to wake up after keeping me up half the night, poking me in the eye and trying to pick my nose. For the remainder of the morning I get to try and clean my house while a tiny human follows me crying and attempting to pull down my pants because she wants to cuddle. Eventually I give in and we watch frozen for the millionth time. Then we have to go grocery shopping. Every shopping trip goes something like this: she sits nicely in the cart for approximately 56 seconds before all 30 lbs of her is climbing all over me and eventually ends up in a death grip around my face trying to escape. Then a few more hours of following me around the house doing her best to act like shes going to die if I dont give her my attention instead of the house work that needs to be done. Eventually I give in and pick her up... Only to be projectile vomited on. Im talking more puke than I have ever seen before in my life. Those of you who have been to a highschool party know that thats saying something. Despite the urge to drop your kid and run the other way thats pretty much frowned upon so you deal with the puke... I wish I could say this was an unusually difficult day but Id be lying.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 02:08:52 +0000
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