Thinking back a long time ago when I was in my early 20s studying spirituality and trying to figure out how to walk in the spirit and not the flesh... It was so hard for my dual mind to grasp because I had no perception of how to walk in anything but the flesh because I was in it lol... Took years of developing within me to finally see non dual verses duality... Took a lot of seeking in literature of all kinds... but as a young woman ,prior to my awareness being fully developed, I used to look in the mirror and think of it like this... When you look at your reflection in the mirror with your outward eyes, you are limited to the boundaries of the body and place you see reflected by light that represents your physical reflection and perception in duality. But if you stand in front of that same mirror and close your eyes and look at yourself from within, you are no longer bound by boundaries and can actually be anywhere you can creatively imagine to be.... Now learning how to manifest the invisible power seen within in vision and dream into the here and now outwardly took a lot of development and learning of energy, vibration, and understanding duality and non duality and quantum physics as well as the universal laws of the universe and creation... I began to embrace all fears and stepping into places inside the darkness wanting to know more of what I did not know... I loved the dark mystery within myself and in going within me it grew very dark spiritually as I had to take a lot of years to part from distraction... I isolated myself from society and still outside of internet sharing , I still only commune with my circle of family in my reality here... Now in my separation and inward search, I discovered so much over the past 11 yrs alone... Deeply meditating and studying and looking at the whole picture rather than just parts of it. When I began to see the larger panoramic view was when I closed my eyes and went inside me... It was like I was transformed and what was outside became the temporary illusion and hologram in my dual mind that perceived it as the pineal gland activated and balanced me and harmonized me as one with duality becoming undivided as I began seeing it as oneness with all things... I could see the universe hologrammed inside me... I didnt need Nasa I realized I was my own telescope lol... I began to have out of body experiences and in this I could create the most beautiful and heavenly places... I could see all the elements within me... because they were also an eternal aspect of me... I then realized I was this dark womb as a earthen body that held my eternal energy gifting me with this transforming experience we dubb as life... I remembered being birthed from my mother, but I also remembered myself as light... Inside the core of me I found this light that is brighter than any light outside of me ever will be... Its a spark within me... My passion you might say... The truest and most holiest aspect of me.... Which we all have this inner spark of light... We all once were these exploding stars that turn inside out and then transform and return back again to repeat the eternal path of what we call creation , destruction, transformation which is always something that is an eternal path... However as this dual force I realized I had a freedom to create or destroy myself physically as I transformed myself... I could die fast, or slow or live long and healthy depending on how I created within me... So in this knowledge of me I realized that no matter what I knew I am eternal so I began to wonder where or what do I wish to be eternally and if I could be anything eternally or will I have to eternally always change .... I seen two realms within and outwardly... I felt chaos in the dual realm but in the core of me I found a narrow path of peace and clarity.... I found this freeing to be able to create with this power physically manifesting it through love making a baby or spiritually creating manifesting things I imagined and released to the universe to reflect back to me... I began to understand natural effects between positive and negative energy and magnetism ... I always wondered how I could let go of something secretly and it come back to me ... I then seen energy... and balance... I watched the earth balance herself continuously spinning as she exploded in volcanic eruptions releasing her energy from her movement to her quaking and splitting open to shift what was not balanced as the seas moved and spun cooling her in hurricanes and I began seeing everything as oneness aiding in this divine natural positive energy and negative energy and balance of harmony... When I became awaken to this it all began unraveling within me... I wanted to learn balance and how to control it... But inside duality you can not control the universe shifting you chemically and sporadically.. You just have to flow with it each day and understand it. I realized the more I tried controlling anything the less control It seemed I had... so I realized the control was held in learning how to just let go of control of everything including self... and selfish will... Inside this I began to feel what freedom truly felt like... Closed eyes and felt heaven and the spiritual side of everything universally and tapped into a part of me consciously that is connected to everything eternally and knows everything if I just ask it, it reveals it through messenger, angel, wisdoms, people, whatever... It always shows me anything I seek or wish to know... it has to be asked then once the desire to know is released and the heart is open totally knowing the answer is coming, it does... This eternal consciousness of energy is expanding me... It is love to me... It is transforming me and birthing me... It is the same power that moves my DNA strands and is in my atoms ... I realized there is another aspect of me, that holds a neutral ability... I know I am always moving and I will eternally always be moving... even when this earthen womb goes back to the earth it came, the divine spark in me will return from which it came as the origin that give it is drawing it back to itself when it give it to begin with... and in this repetitive cycle of things I began to see lots of circles and began studying sacred symbolism and numerology and ...I then became aware of synchronicity... I began speaking to vibrations I normally could not communicate with ... I learned how it communicated with me inwardly... I learned how to place faith and inward feelings and emotions in a trance like state of belief to the point of manifesting everything I imagine when I do it outside of want and selfishness... I do it in giving and thankfulness and love... There is a power in this great mystery still to me but it has made me a prophet in the eyes of many and a creator in the eyes of myself and to some like a God, however I have not created a Universe as just me but as all of us once was the Supernova... Now the path of my earthen vessel matters not to me as much as the path of my energy... and If I am both positive and negative balanced then I am my own universe within me inside a larger one which I think of as the insides of the the womb of something greater than me and it can keep on being just that who knows the edges of what we dub as edgeless... Darkness is our greatest of all mysteries and yet it holds our greatest gifts of self.. No one has to seek darkness, but we will always have to seek for light... We are darkness continuously seeking for the light from what we came from... and we will return... but we will always be both eternally dancing as love.... I can see the full circle now and inwardly I feel the fullness of love now as there is absoluteness within and a divine connection to all that is... a place of isness... So I am here enjoying the experience inside my now... not trying to control it... aware of what I am thinking... rising above duality by silencing my dual mind and experiencing non duality and eternal consciousness as I balance the war when I need a break from it mentally.. because until we escape these bodies that hold us, we long to escape them... Dreaming always of flying because we once were and in some aspects we still are as we spin in outer space inside our galaxy ... Do I believe in life outside of here? You better damn well believe it!
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 04:56:58 +0000
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