This Thanksgiving weekend has been, against all expectations, simply wonderful. Going into it, I dreaded what is the start to the holiday season. Attending three Thanksgiving gatherings without my husband, my life partner, seemed like it would be another great hardship to face without him. But I did enjoy myself. I did laugh. I did smile, a lot. And I dont feel guilty about it. Jesus is my Healer. And I almost can see Will sitting next to Him, saying, Lets make sure she has a good time. I felt like I got an extra dose of strength in me these past four days. Prior to that I had been battling some very raw and ugly anger issues. Things went so well Thursday, that I spent Friday night alone, putting up and decorating the whole tree myself (not that I didnt have numerous offers for help...I have this thing with being fiercely independent with certain tasks though). Wills stocking went up, along with mine, Joey, Ace, Monkey, and now, a blessing to this home, Kathryn Sacco has joined the mantle display, each stocking personalized with sparkly puff paint for each family members name. I received flowers from a mystery angel. I have questioned numerous people and for the life of me I am stumped as to who sent them. Sometimes I think maybe Jesus himself sent them. Whomever you are, thank you. You made my heart swell with graciousness and love. You have made my mind go a little crazy as I do not handle secrets, surprises, or mysteries very well. If you tell me who you are, I will give you one million dollars ...in Monopoly money of course. Except I dont own that game...I hate that game. I digress. My sis-in-law Anna Suzanne helped me with some girly stuff. It was refreshing and gave me a boost of confidence which is sometimes lacking since I dont have Will around to remind me of it like he always did. I noticed, very obviously, how attached Ace was to me this holiday weekend. My parents hosted two separate Thanksgiving gatherings, one with my dads side and one with my moms. Ace followed me from room to room, always settling right at my feet. Once he lost track of me when I let him outside. When somebody let him back in I watched him go from person to person, until his eyes finally met mine and the tail started wagging as he sat down in front of me and handed me his paw as if to say, I found you, Mom. We are going to do this together. I know your heart hurts and want to help fix it. Now as I type this, Ive got Joey and Monkey curled up on the couch with me, sound asleep in their turkey comas. Faith + Family + Flowers + Fido = SOUL MEDICINE.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 04:38:38 +0000
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