This article is so spot-on. I tend to feel very profoundly and intensely that if I am emotionally-wounded, I could feel the waves of pain all over my body (particularly my back and my guts). 10 Confessions of INFJs in conflict: 1. I take conflict personally. 2. I’m a gentle soul, and “fighting” has a different definition for me. 3. If you actually yell at me or insult me, I will be wounded for a long time. 4. With that said, there’s a side of me you’ll hopefully never see. Don’t underestimate my gentle nature. I’m not all warm fuzzies and smiles. If you cross one of my deeply held inner values, I become extremely outspoken and crusading. If I see someone else being hurt, I’ll have a strong urge to be their protector and defend them. An angry INFJ can deliver a wrath and intensity you’ve probably never experienced before. Think Jesus in the temple with whips, turning over the money changers’ tables. 5. I tend to internalize conflict (just like I do with all of my emotions). I feel conflict and stress physically in my body, until it’s resolved. 6. I’ll think about everything that was said during the fight a thousand times. I’ll replay your words and mine and feel the emotions again and again each time. 7. It takes a long time for me to calm down. 8. Sometimes I bottle up my feelings for too long. I’m afraid that if I say how I really feel, I might hurt you. 9. Conflict is overstimulating for my sensitive, introverted system. You may experience this as the “INFJ freeze.” I have heard you, but my mind is paralyzed and I have no idea what to say back. So I sit there, staring, in silence. 10. There is a thing called the “INFJ Door Slam,” and unfortunately, it is very real. It means you’ve hurt me so much, I’m no longer investing any of my (limited) supply of energy in you. It means I’ve come to resent you. If you value me, don’t let it get to this point. It’s really hard to go back.
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 23:33:30 +0000
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