This asks me every day Whats on your mind. Today I am answering. I had a friend ask me why so many of my friends were miserable. It took me aback. I never thought of it that way. My knee jerk reaction was to say they werent. But then I thought.. always a grain of truth in there when someone observes something about you that you didnt realize. First I would like to say, I love you all. Each of you has your own unique way of processing love, grief, happiness, sorrow. That is your right. Here is what my friend said. When you have a loss, grieve it, hold it close, but put a time limit on it or you will be consumed by it. I always equate it with a cut, you put a band aid on it while it is fresh, then let it heal, rip it off, leave the cut alone. So many of my friends keep scratching the wound until it bleeds again, put the band aid back on, and start the process over and over. If it has been awhile since your tragedy and you are still mourning, it maybe time to see a therapist. I do not say that in a judgmental way, only in a healing way. Marking the death year after year is fine, take some flowers to the grave, be done with it. I enjoy my friends Walter and Karen for brightening my days with their humor, and insight to the mind of a 5 year old (yep, counting you in there Walter). My friend Liz for the beautiful art and birds, My friend Jim for the fish, Michael for keeping me back in the thoughts of music and some smattering of politics, Rick for.. well, being Rick. I have had as many losses as all of you, and a ton more than most of you, Mother, father, husband, lovers, friends, and many dogs and cats. I try to keep them all in my heart with a smile, not sorrow. There are, like you, things every day that remind me of one of them. I just smile. I battled cancer last year, and very few of you knew it. I wanted to keep my facebook page full of laughs, not people saying they were going to pray for me or felt bad. To me, only would have reminded me how sick I was, and needed a laugh much more than anything else. Lastly, a Thomas named Thomas helped me the most. For that I am eternally grateful.
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 16:41:58 +0000
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