This been on my mind all night long hardly got any sleep I was puttin nienie to bed last night an she goes mommy whos guna tke care of me when yu die?? Im like huh#!? What why yu ask that ? She goes I dunno I think about nolan passing away so now I think about yu so I told her um I dunno I guess daddy titi lucy and grandma loretta she goes whos guna kiss me at night? Whos guna play barbies with me whos guna make me laugh! !? So I had the biggest knot in my throat an I said well grandma and titi lucy can do that with yu I guess she started to tear up an then she said well whos guna pay for yur funeral!!? Then I jus turn around and start to cry mind yu my daughter is only 5 yrs old and shes worried about whos guna pay for my funeral!!! Smfh my.heart hurts cus yu knw when I was yunger I did stupid shit and I didnt care of I died but now that im a mom im soooo afraid to die becus the things she asked me is my most biggest fears no one is goin to love her like me ! And I knew my baby loves her mommy but I know now even more how much she loves me ! And it kills me becus I know nolans death did tke a huge toll on her.. and I feel so bad ughh jus tryin to raise a wonderful child thats all! I love yu elliana juzel and nolan santiago ♡♡♡♡
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 14:06:19 +0000
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