This feelin of sickness, pain, and confusion is beatin me down. I try to fight it off and at times i am successful but only for a short period. It comes right back in full force seemin more stronger then before. Eatin me alive and tearin me to shreds. A feelin no one shuld ever have to live with for the rest of their lives. I try to not think about it but how culd i not. I try to not let it get to me but how culd i not. If i had any chance of ever gettin over this i wuld have to cut all ties from her n erase it all but i can not do that this time cuz she is the mother of my two kids. My two kids are all i live for now. I cant carry this feelin, im not strong enough n certainly not for the rest of my life. Idk wat to do. I am so lost right now. I know it will b alright but this feelin or shuld i say feelins. They are destroyin me right now. I havent even hit the bottom yet. Still fallin aimlessly down towards the ground. I cant even start pickin myself back up yet it seems or does this mean i can stop from hittin the bottom n start gettin bak up now? Either way i dnt know how to do any of this and still those feelins that will always b there wat about those. I need to figure out somethin i cant just wait for things to improve only the lil bit that they wuld improve anyways. Never b the same whether i wuld change for the good or bad. Watever happens. Im so lost that all i wanna do is run to a deep wooded area find a spot in a corner lay down n just lay there doin nothin just layin n waitin for watever to happen happen. One day i just might do that i swear on my mom it sounds like the greatest thing to do right now. My lord one of ur children are n dire need of ur assistance. You either take me now or you help me now. I will do watever to not feel like this anymore! Please
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 05:07:50 +0000
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