This is a note mostly for myself. Its long and moralizing and you will regret reading it if you do. Earlier today I ran an errand. As I was coming home, a large truck was waiting to get into traffic, and nobody was letting him in, and since we were baring moving, I slowed to allow the truck to enter traffic. Im patting myself on the back, considerate John. But the truck behind me evidently didnt like that I allowed a truck into truck. (Truckers tend to be inconsiderate and even on the freeway they often ride each others bumpers in order to allow other people into the lane - this is called tsumete aoru - 車間を詰めて煽る). Anyhow, as the two lanes merge into one, the trucker came from behind me and attempted to overtake me. Because the lanes merge, I would have had to either slam on the brakes, go off road, or do what I did - floor it and stay in front of him, preventing him from coming alongside. The guy then tried to intimidate me with the truck, staying about 10 centimeters off my rear, and swerving back and forth (the swerving back and forth is a Japanese thing. Its supposed to be threatening, but I find it rather cute.) Now, I am thinking to myself, John, you are such a good person. Five years ago I would have slammed on the brakes and forced the guy to swerve or hit me. Then he leans out the window and demands that I pull over so we can duke it out. Im laugh, smile and wave, and think to myself that that guy doesnt know how lucky he is. Because 5 years ago, I would have sent him to the hospital. John, you are such a good person, I think to myself; youve come such a long way. But as I drove home, something bothered me. It was like there was something I was missing, a lesson I hadnt learned. Why? I kept asking. I didnt retaliate in the least, I didnt partake of the joy of beating down an ignorant slob, so why should I be bothered with a guilty conscience? Then just an hour ago I take my wife and daughter out on errands, and Im sitting on a fairly deserted side-street, in my car, waiting for them to return. As Im minding my own business, a old woman strikes the hood of my truck and demands that I move. Now you must know that in Japan there are these old women, sometimes referred to as obatarians. They are pushy and rude and they take advantage of Japanese culture of politeness in a distinctly perverse way. You see, they act like they have been inconvenienced or otherwise wronged, and this victim status requires that the other party be servile and obliging. Its all about making others act servilely toward oneself. My mother in law is one of those, and she can be served a perfectly fine meal at a restaurant, and if she cannot find something to complain about in order to make the waitress apologize profusely, then she we fabricate some imagined wrong in order to secure the longed-after servility. So, instead of moving my truck, I get out and ask what the problem is. She says she cannot walk by. I point out that she has 10 meters of road on one side, and 1 meter of road on the other. Shed have to be a sideways moving bus to think that I was in her way. I walk around my car twice to demonstrate the principle. See how easy that is? And I get back in my car. Case closed. Or not. Just then my wife and daughter come back, and as they were going to walk beside the truck in order to get in it, obatarian stops them - she actually held out her arm to stop them. She touched my wife. Somebody found my button. I jump out of the truck and growl, ooi. Which might be the Japanese way of warning somebody to back off. Old woman declares to me - and Ive got my head cocked now - that they are not going to pass by the vehicle until I move it. She actually though that the woman and child would stand with her in solidarity. I tell my wife and daughter to get in, and they do. Then she wants to scold me for saying ooi to her. It was disrespectful, she claims. I ask why I should treat a woman who is a pathological complainer, and who possesses a bad personality, with respect? I then drive off. Even as I am driving away, I know I failed the test. The trucker may have been in the wrong. The obatarian may have been in the wrong. But Christ does not call us to be instruments of justice. When people do wrong in the Bible, God does not send Christ to punish them. God allows Satan to have his way with them. When David sinned against God, it was Satan who was sent against him. God doesnt call us to be instruments of justice, but to be lovers of mercy. Mercy is not optional here, in the sense that justice is mandatory and mercy is something over and above what is required of us. Mercy is what is required of us. I ought to fear dealing out justice, because if I demand justice of others, then God could require justice of me. I want to be forgiven when I make mistakes, so I ought to forgive others. That trucker? I should have slammed on the brakes and allowed him to take the lane. Christ didnt shove the cross back in the face of his persecutors, He didnt demand that justice be obeyed; he forgave and forgave and forgave and gave way. I should have given way. That old woman? I should have moved. And I should have done so not in a grudging manner, but cheerfully, knowing all the occasions that I was a jackass and God moved accommodated me instead of hitting me with a well-deserved lightning rod. I hope I can keep this in mind next time I get a chance to back down from a confrontation.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:46:20 +0000