This is an interesting read. I am conflicted about the picture that Facebook paints of marriages/relationships and, honestly, life in general. Not because I think we *should* be posting our hardships and strife on here regularly, but because marriage/relationships are hard. Life is hard. Anyone who tells you anything else is fibbing. I always say happiness is not this lengthy sustained thing -- its moments. Its little snippets of life that, if youre too busy focused on the negative, you will miss. Happiness is a gift we give ourselves by noticing the little things. My kids giggle after we fall off of our sleds in fresh snow, or a deep, awesome belly laugh with my best friend over something ridiculous, or the silly thermometer my lovely partner got me to hang outside of the kitchen window because dammit I want one. Laying in bed snuggling and reading a story together before bedtime, or that perfect pancake. Those things are happiness. My life isnt perfect. And neither is my relationship. But the stuff that isnt perfect is also private. Most of it, anyway. I noticed a long time ago that humans have a tendency to say out loud when things go wrong. But we rarely say out loud when things go right - when we are perfectly content in a moment. We say it out loud when we are UNhappy. But we rarely stop for a minute and say - Wow, I am super effing happy right this very minute. I made a New Years Resolution about ten years ago to get better at that. And, Ill tell you what -- life feels better when you say out loud when you are happy. Social media has become a skewed lense through which we view our friends lives. Im not going to post on Facebook when I argue with my partner, or sit across the table from her and think - Oh Lord, please shush. But we DO argue. And I DO think those things. And still - I am lucky to have her. My life is better because of her. And the stuff that isnt thrilling is *private*. We keep looking to social networks for this thing we treat like the holy grail -- this privacy thing. But privacy is ours to create. We are findable. But intimate details about our lives are not -- unless we put them out there. Im sorry if my Facebook is too happy for you. Im making my own rules and choosing to use this place as a forum for my happy. Im going to notice those moments and Im going to share them when it makes sense. Im going to mark my happy down. Because we all need that, just a little bit. Life is hard. Relationships are mostly about persistence. Im not going to change the fact that this place makes my persistence look pretty swell.
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 17:30:19 +0000
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