This is going to sound cruel, but it needs to be said. Since my second divorce, I have still been fond of my ex-husband. I have forgotten all that was bad. I just remember doing everything my way. Recently, my grandson and I briefly visited my former husband. He had the strong smell of smoke on him and I began to violently cough again. You see, I have asthma that was developed from breathing second hand smoke. And now the memories come flooding back. The image of me crawling to my daughters door at night, unable to speak or walk. That one last bang on her door before I pass out. She, of course, finds me and fights to save me. Again and again. I see myself back in ICU fighting to live. Again and again. I got off this terrifying merry-go-round when I divorced him . No more smoke in the walls or furniture. No more ICU. No more putting my daughter in a position to constantly save my life. And this visit with my ex ended badly. My grandson had to tell me how to breathe to prevent an asthma attack. I can not do this anymore. I wish my ex the best. But he is so severely mentally ill that he almost burned our house down. I have to stay off the deadly merry-go-round.
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 14:56:18 +0000