This is my last post guys! ;) It began with the forging of the Great Cheesecakes. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and slimest of all beings, untouchable by carbs and transfats. Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, great eaters and purveyors of the cheesecake halls. And nine, nine cheesecakes were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desired cheesecake...and bacon. For within these cheesecakes was bound the most delicious flavors and the will to stuff ones face. But they were all of them deceived, for another cheesecake was made. Deep in the kitchen of Mordor, in the Fires of The Cheesecake Factory, the Dark Chocolate Lord Sauron forged a master Cheesecake, and into this cheesecake he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life, with delicious and delectable flavor. One Cheesecake to rule them all. One by one, the free lands of the United States fell to the power of the Cheesecake, but there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Vegans and Elves marched against the armies of The Obese, and on the very slopes of the Cheesecake Factory, they fought for the freedom of our Addiction. Victory was near, but the power of the Cheesecake could not be undone. It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Isildur, who worked for the FDA, took up his father’s fork. Sauron, enemy of the free people, was defeated. The Cheesecake passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever, but the hearts of men are easily corrupted, especially by Cheesecake and bacon. And the Cheesecake of power has a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur, to his death. ~Bilbo
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 08:36:40 +0000
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