This is real. This is a key component of why Eric Garner and Mike Brown are dead. Unfortunately, its not just the police officers with this #fear. Its most people, in all areas of society. From store clerks to restauranteurs, from people who work in media to even aikidokas. Im not as big as Garner and Brown but at 62, 210 lbs and dark skinned, I was always considered the BIG SCARY BLACK GUY, even when I didnt know it. It didnt help that I walked around with what some consider this Brooklyn scowl, making people assume I was either angry or sad. I have my mother to thank for that scowl, a woman who is probably the sweetest and most helpful person you would meet. When I was a kid, there were stupid neighborhood kids who assumed I was trying to be hard with that expression I have til this day. Hard, back then? Ha! I was still into drawing, videogames and action figures. Little did they, or I knew, I didnt have to TRY to be anything if you know what I mean ( ;) ). But I digress. It wouldve helped a little if I were the JOLLY BLACK GIANT, laughing all the time with a big ole nothing-to-fear-here smile but thats not me. Cant I just have a naturally serious expression without being angry or serious about anything? Well, you wont know unless you actually get to know me now, would you? Your bad. It was Susan who suggested it might be the BIG SCARY BLACK GUY fear which made certain people act a kind of way to me. I never heard that before her, honestly. Before Susan, I was in typical inner city circles that were mostly black and ranged from athletes to criminals, most of whom could be consider BIG SCARY BLACK GUYS themselves Im guessing. So, being around Susans people and eventually joining the aikido community, made my social circles more diverse and to SOME I guess I stood out in that negatively perceived way. These foolish people expected the worse from me because of that #fear. Of course, they were proven wrong and all I had to do was be myself. I was never perfect but, as one female friend used to tell me who was 11 years my senior, I was always the diamond in the rough kinda guy. Which brings me to recent events, events I cant really share here on Facebook, but lets just say it has everything to do with that BIG SCARY BLACK GUY fear and it threatened to cause harm to me and my family. Now, if its a BIG BLACK SCARY GUY you want to see, all you have to do is violate my family or friends. But in this particular situation, I will not give them what they want. I plan on a different response, one that would only call attention to their fears and prejudices. Whether its through art or a communal exposé, it would be done tactfully and tastefully. It would be satire. It would actually make most people look in the mirror and see a JACKASS.
Posted on: Thu, 11 Dec 2014 19:05:05 +0000
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