This is so funny: In a trial, in a small town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, on the Bible, so help her God. The witness was a proper well-dressed elderly lady, the grandmother type, well-spoken and poised. The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know me? She responded, Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. Ive known you since you were a young boy and frankly, youve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them behind their backs. You think youre a rising big shot when you havent the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well. The lawyer was stunned and slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judges and jurors faces, not to mention the court reporter who documented every word. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney? She again replied, Why, yes, I do. Ive known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. Hes lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking problem. The man cant build or keep a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him. The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in his chair, looking at the floor. Laughter, mixed with gasps, thundered throughout the court room and the audience was on the verge of chaos. At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, If either of you crooked bastards asks her if she knows me, youll be jailed for contempt.
Posted on: Mon, 30 Jun 2014 02:29:03 +0000
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