This is the Talk I did on What Forgiveness Means to me @community Synagogue On Yom Kippur. Thanking Rabbi Z from the bottom of my heart for giving me this opportunity. Good afternoon. I am so grateful to be here today. When Rabbi Z asked if I would like to talk about what forgiveness means to me on Yom Kippur I got really excited. Why? Because I love this topic so much. And Then It hit me that I would actually have to speak in front of people- which already makes me nervous and Id have to do it on an empty stomach AND all of you would Be fasting too. But I already said yes to Rabbi Z and Im pretty sure disappointing the Rabbi on the high holidays might not be a good idea. So here I am. What forgiveness means to me... I have a lot to say about this but if I had to sum it up in two Words I would say FREEDOM AND Miraculous. Forgiveness has always been a key in setting myself free. There have been times in my life, that I have been so angry, so hurt and stubborn that I actually felt like I was locked up. Literally, I can describe the feeling as being held captive in a small space with no air. I read something in a book one day that changed my life “Only my condemnation injures me, only my own forgiveness sets me free” What this meant to me was that I held the key to my own freedom. It was my choice to continue to resent or to pursue forgiveness. And because I’m extremely claustophobic the latter seemed like a good choice. And so began my journey as a student on the art of forgiveness. I found myself in good company and I found quotes that I commited to memory. One of my favorites is from Ghandi: You all know Ghandi? he DEFINITILY Knew a thing or two about fasting. He said: The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. - That really resonated with me because all my life I thought I was a pushover, always quick to say I was sorry during any type of confrontation. I finally understood that my desire for peace trumped my need to blame. It’s clear to me now that I am the one depriving myself of peace when I am holding on to angry thoughts towards another person. Something else I learned was that the more I began to forgive others, the better I became at forgiving myself and I was less harsh on myself. The less I focused on other peoples mistakes the more I was able to cut myself some slack. Which brings me to why I see forgiveness as miraculous. The very moment I choose to forgive is the moment that my mind shifts and I have a new perspective. Forgiveness has forced me to grow beyond what I am. I fully recognize and understand that we are all capable of betrayals and being the victim or the perpetrator at any given moment. I’m pretty sure we all have a story to tell and hopefully let go of today. (I actually welcome you now to think of someone you hurt or hurt you ) Maybe even someone you will see tonight at break fast. might make the difference btween throwing the bagel or eating it.) Rumi the poet says ““If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?” these somewhat unpleasant situations are an opportunity to grow. I learned that in judaism we cannot simply ask God for forgiveness and be off the hook like in some other religions. No- we have to go directly to the person we have harmed in order to be entitled to redemption. On the flip side, If someone hurts you and they came to apologize, and you chose to forgive, than you have agreed to leave this incident in the past and move on. That doesn’t mean that your feelings are invalidated or that the action is condoned It just means that you have given your blessing to that person to make amends and to learn from the situation and hopefully to be a stronger and better person. So basically, we are all in this together. The growth is the miraculous part. Truly, forgiveness is a daily practice not just on Yom Kippur which is like the super bowl of forgiveness. I like to think that each day is a new opportunity to start over, do better. Oprah Winfrey — True forgiveness is when you can say, Thank you for that experience. One of my favorite authors and speakers is Marianne williamson and she says that underneath every fear is an unforgiving thought and the more we tune into our fears the better we become at moving beyond the mishagas of everyday, and we just open ourselves to love. I’ll finish with a Prayer from Marianne that always helps me get into the forgiveness mood. Dear God, Please teach me to forgive myself and others. Remove the walls that keep love out, behind which I am prisoner. Heal my guilt and remove my anger, that I might be reborn. Make gentle my heart and strong my spirit, and show me how to love. Amen Wishing you all a New year filled with health, love and happiness.
Posted on: Sun, 05 Oct 2014 11:28:46 +0000
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