This is the kind of discussion I LOVE having with people, often stuff like this comes up in my full- day events. Just saw this posted from a fb friend and I wanted to share a thought or 2 to some of you that love to label people as toxic or energy vampires. Lol This post seems like its inspiring, but it isnt. Labeling people as toxic is not the solution. We teach people how to treat us. If we suck at voicing our boundaries with people-- then there is nobody to blame but ourselves. Everyone is entitled to seek out what they can in life. People try to get my time and energy and expertise FOR FREE ALL THE TIME WITH NO DESIRE TO IMPLEMENT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. THEY CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH. I used to think they were toxic, then I looked in a mirror and discovered it was me, trying to be nice, praised, want approval... So I neglected to speak up with clear boundaries and ask for an even exchange in the interaction. When I made the simple adjustment... The problem eliminated instantly. I didnt have to cut people out of my life. My BEING did it naturally. In fact when we are down and out-- thats when we need help the most. Ive discovered most people are in some sort of crisis and have a tiger chasing after them. We can be there and lend a hand, but when we feel uneasy about it and feel like there isnt a fair exchange and we say NOTHING-- its not because they are toxic. Its because we are weak and want approval. Quit being such a victim. Speak up and realize labeling others as though they have some sort of magical negative power only makes you look like a disempowered weak fool. So what to do when you try to move forward without certain individuals and they just dont respect your decision? The problem is because of your failure to communicate. When Im too busy to talk to you or I have no desire to interact with you again, THERE IS NO AMBIGUITY. You know, because I have certainty behind what I say. I tell it to your face without fear of your disapproval. It took me a while to get there-- and its a tall order for all the people addicted to peace, support, praise, and nurture-- but thats what saying YES to yourself sometimes is about. If Im trying to avoid, or to be nice, or to do what 99% of our society does (avoid confrontation in fear of not being nice or peaceful)-- then of COURSE people dont respect you because you havent respected yourself. When are people going to realize that everything around you is feedback? When are people going to realize THEY ARE NOT VICTIMS TO OTHER PEOPLE? Any post that refers to toxic people or energy vampires is written by a VICTIM who would be wise to take a closer look at themselves. #CreatureToCreator
Posted on: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 18:42:54 +0000
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