This is the longest night of my life. Daddy and I have been hysterically laughing from sheer exhaustion for 30 minutes uncontrollably. Snippets of the highlights & conversations of note: 1) Every ten minutes someone has knocked on our hospital room door. 2) Around the horrid hour of 3 am, our sweet nurse dropped what sounded like a beeker that shattered into 40,000 pieces of oblivion. The room is now some sadistic form of an obstacle course. Losing= massive blood loss. 3) Dad has the best one liners after each knock and entry. Some of my favorites: Oh, its you, again. Gnette, youve been here so many times, I figure I might as well move over and let you jump in. Ah, looky! Another player to join in on bridge. Entre vu, earthlings. Welcome to the crazy bin. (Lady trying to obtain blood work) Mr. Mueller, it looks like youre out of blood in this arm. (Daddy) well, I store it in my other arm...why didnt you say thats what you were after. It sounds like its a morse code, telling them Im trapped. Maybe the water boarders will come and rescue me. Will you turn off the light? Im genuinely thrilled to obtain the next ten minutes of sleep before I see you again. (Nurse knocks on door, daddy yells) Come back later, Im right in the middle of yoga. 4) In our hysterics, Dad has chosen this time to share some of his funnier work stories. These have included the complex days of streaking for fun, and Japanese translators that didnt speak Japanese. 5) 100 variations of: Honey, some of these wires of torture are too tight around my legs. And my neck. 6) (after every time the nurse flushes the toilet) Geronimo! The rocket launch was a success! 7) Other insightful yet non-related sentiments, like: I cant believe Obama today...the guy opens up his answer by saying, look, Ill be honest with ya. Hes the President of the damn United States of America...one would think a disclaimer of that nature wouldnt be necessary...well, unless all the other times have been a lie. Actually, I get it now.... 8) My sleeping arrangements are on a recliner chair that fails to stay as such. Any random alteration in my equilibrium launches me across the room like the pebble from a slingshot. Its as if I have a choice between....to have a numb rear end...or to fly. In other news, they are admitting me for chronic whiplash syndrome. I think they treat that ailment with keeping you awake for 48 hours, too. 9) There have been so many advances to modern medicine...I implore all those training for the medical profession to strive towards advancements in time efficiency. If there are 30 things that need to be done throughout the night...do six of them together five different times. Im begging you. For the children. The elderly. Save the world. 10) I couldnt stop at 9 because it would bother me, but Im too exhausted to record another one. But I will say this...if another person knocks on door 301...I will undoubtedly pee in my pants. I have no control over my hysterical laughter and the involuntary tears streaming down my cheeks. Youve all been warned. Well played, floor three. Well played...
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 11:36:34 +0000
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