This is the post I wanted to put up last night, but my brain no longer works very well all the time. So, When I did get back to my room after midnight I realised I had left my phone charger at home in Cork and lost my WiFi modem. Anyway a charger is in the post and thanks to Linda for lending me a charger for a few days. As I arrived to Kates room tonight it was after ten. I crept into her room expecting her to be asleep. There was my princess lying peacefully, staring through the bars of her cot, looking out the door as if she was waiting for me. The moment she saw me she immediately pulled herself up using the bars of the cot and started smiling. I went straight to her and picked her up to hug her close. She was so happy she squeezed my neck tightly then lent away to look at my face then smiled and squeezed me tightly again. In that moment I felt sheer bliss. I could hardly believe she was so happy to see me. I remember having a conversation with a mum before about motherly emotions having a child who is longterm in hospital from birth. We wondered would our babies ever get confused who there mother was. We could not be there 24 hours a day so nurses took our place giving cuddles and kisses. The first few times I smelt perfume on my baby Kate when I came to her I felt sad. A bit jealous that I could not be the woman to hug my baby all the time. Then, in a very short time I was delighted when I smelt perfume off Kate because it ment when I could not be with her she was loved. As Kate got older, it became more and more obvious that she loves all the staff on TCU ward so much but also that she definitely knows and loves me, her mama. Whenever Mark and the boys are up Kate spends a lot of her time reaching out to each of us for hugs and kisses and to rub our hair. We are so lucky to have her. X
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 22:29:07 +0000