This isn’t the type of post I’d normally post. I’ve had some time to soak in the passing of Robin Williams. I have feelings of sadness, anger, confusion and reflection. Obviously Robin was a very talented many. All those being interviewed who knew him say when he was doing his thing, Robin was the most talented guy in the room. I know someone who personally knew him. One story I recall was Robin walking into a comedy club, not looking to perform but to watch. However, after being invited to the stage he took the place apart with his performance. As a performer, I can’t bring my best without some preparation. Sounds like Robin wasn’t like that. Sounds like he could bring his best instantly. I’m angry that a father of three children thought leaving them early was the best, maybe the only option. Some say, and I agree mostly, that suicide is a person’s last selfish act. A “look at me one more time” thing. There are people who loved him and they are the ones suffering now, not him. I don’t understand how someone can be so taken in by the voices of the demons they are battling. Why do people give into voices or thoughts they they aren’t valued or loved or wanted or needed?? I’m sure everyone deals with that, but why do some give in. I can’t imagine what is going through someone’s head at the time they decided to end it. Obviously Robin was very depressed. Seems like depression is vilified when it doesn’t need to be. Why is it so much worse for someone to pickup a phone and call someone telling them what they are feeling or thinking than it is for them to end their life? Why couldn’t Robin call one of his kids or a counselor or a friend? So many articles say Robin was struggling with depression and addiction since the 80’s. Since the 80’s?!? Are you friggen kidding me? Seems like SOMEONE knew about his and NOTHING was done? Are people scared to step in and save their friend or family? Is it so bad to point out that someone might need help that NO ONE thought it would be a good idea? I hope if I’m ever on my way down that road that everyone reading this will call out and get me going in the right direction. How many celebrities have given in to their demons?? How many more will there be? How many more retired and active military personnel? How many more faceless people?? It’s obvious Robin was struggling, it’s clear people knew. What will come of this…nothing, that’s what. We’ll all feel bad, say a lot of RIP’s and move on. Meanwhile there are people everyone knows who need to be helped. If they don’t ask for it, step in! It’s no different from all the senseless mass shootings by people struggling mentally. Again, another ‘illness’ that is disparaged and swept under the rug. Sad that unless we can SEE the problem we pretend it doesn’t exist. Robin was good at hiding his pain behind his jokes. I am a lot like him in that respect. When I’m depressed I hide it the same way. I’ll make jokes, pretend things are fine, hide my real feelings. You’ll never know unless I tell you…and even then you probably won’t get the full story. Why? Admitting to something like that for me is a weakness. Yea, I guess I’m too ‘macho’ or what have you in some ways. I don’t want to seem weak, I don’t want to seem like I’m unable to cope. I’ve lost a lot because of that stubbornness in my life. Yea, I’ve wanted to give up too…thankfully I know I’m loved so I never wanted to do the ultimate give up. If anything, my daughter will always keep me going. My biggest fear is leaving this world before I feel like my daughter is ready to go on her own. I digress, there have been times, more than I care to admit, that I couldn’t or didn’t want to get out of bed…or maybe turned in early and given up on the day. Nothing for anyone to worry about…probably. It’s a lot for me to even share what I have. I’m getting better opening up, but I have a long way to go. My hope is no one will give in to the thoughts and feelings of worthlessness. You are loved…yes, even you! Robin, Damn you for giving in…you were loved. If you were here now seeing the wall to wall coverage you’d know that. I feel for your kids. With every passing parent I’m reminded of the loss of my own. Very sad your talent is gone far too early. Hope you have found the peace you were seeking but couldn’t grasp here. Rest in peace.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 03:19:30 +0000
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