This kind of gives me hope...I had a disturbing conversation with a former boss the other day, during which he made his usual, we need to find you a dude comment. In an effort to deflect the comment, I replied I had given up hope, after 50 years of single-hood. The truth is, I still feel vulnerable to negative stereotypes about what a real woman is, and acts, and do not feel comfortable discussing my romantic prospects with many people. The reality is that being single is a big part of my existential question; the feelings of loves lost sometimes overwhelm me, as I struggle to integrate who I am on paper, in my mind, with how the world sees me, and what it expects me to be. It has been especially painful to sometimes feel close to compromise, but then feelling it slip away. I do still have hope of finding a romantic partner. I do not really understand how big that job will be for me, as far as personal development, and maturity, but am thinking it will be a lot. Why bring it up te topic in this manner, at this time? I am not sure, except that my 50th birthday is coming up soon, and in some ways it feels a lot different than thrity or forty. I guess this is how I deal with things that seem too big for the inside of my brain.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 20:38:57 +0000
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