This lady from my past responded to my friend request. She denied. She told me shes spanish but i have suspicion shes native. She is maybe in her 50s or 60s. I sent her a message and thought she would accept my request. She didnt. I lived with them. What does this all mean? Im waiting for a response form her oldest son. Her daughter and youngest son both dont accept my friendship. They are native for sure cus their dad is. Ive done wrong to them and years later i tried to apologize and try and do this facebook thing with them. I love them. I feel weird. Im still brainwashed when i think im not. I dont understand. I explained and apologized for my wrong doing years later. Im only human. I dont understand what pale face is but im sure feeling like it. They were the start of all this. I dont understand. Should i end my learnings? Not sure what words to use. Im one of them anyways and no one cares everybody says. Wish i woulda did the sweat with them so i would have another good memory. I feel weird. Im not accepted. I need help. My intentions arent for you to feel sorry for me. You people bring it out of me you do this to all nons. You making me crazy and making me make the people i talk to crazy, thats what i think. Im ok with it but not to the people. Its weird. This girl told me your culture has no goodbye. Is that true? Must be. I hate this. This girl said hate is a strong word, so ill say i dont like this. What are you doing? Chiricahua is just a denomination(?) of apache and cibicue is broken down to families (i read), this girl says dont believe in everything you read, and those other natives do things differently. There is so many tribes i know about and many more ive never heard of. I read in africa the word tribe is used differently. I am able to keep my eyes open for more than 24 hours it doesnt feel no different at night than it does in the day. I feel like im just looking with my eyes thats it. How am i disrespectful when i feel ive done nothing wrong. I dont even know what respect is/means. Sm i saying too much? If so i guess i tend to do that too much to everybody i talk to. Im unable to make new friends and keep them. I keep thinking of saying help me, and give me guidance........whats this knowledge for? I sure hope my words stay in this group and not public.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 08:53:46 +0000
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