This last week has been a real struggle for me. I have had days where I have been close to tears, and days where I have been in tears. I have desperately wanted to get organised and proactive after two weeks of travelling around the country which followed two weeks of working almost solidly on improving the photo booth. Half my brain was saying “let’s do this and kick some ass and get back in the swing of things”, the other half was wondering who the hell had invaded my frontal lobe and was ruling over me with such a negative attitude resulting in my body was saying “noooo leave me the hell alone, I do not want to get out of bed”. “These are my Monday Musings” I could literally feel my ever burning spark sizzling out like a waterfall gushing over a thousand lit candles. Inside I knew this wasn’t me but I couldn’t help the sadness and I didn’t know why I couldn’t pull myself out of it. Looking back now, it’s clear for all to see that I wasn’t my usual self, I noticed today that I forgot to set a featured image on Tuesday Twinkles, and apparently Things I Love Thursday wasn’t deserving of a full title!! As I mentioned already this week, I have been suffering with toothache. Not a real painful pain, but one that has just relentlessly droned on in the background. I have been gargling tcp daily (ERGH!!) and taking ibroprofen to ease the pain but it was like the infection was infecting my brain too. I don’t have a dentist since I moved to Bristol, nor could I find one to register with, that had appointments available and that wasn’t going to cost me the earth in emergency fees. In addition to all that, life and the business have thrown a few minor challenges at me this week, which haven’t helped the situation. Also, as a result of my bad mood and general bad mindset, Brad and I even had a little argument on Thursday, which rarely ever happens, it was really all over nothing but because we were both in a bad mood, we weren’t able to talk it through like usual. He went off to Wales, walking with the boys, Thursday evening so since then I have had some well needed time alone to mull everything over and attempt to pick myself up. I have been out walking myself with the pooches, even if that was a little stressful with Logan (50kgs of dog) on a lead!! He’s too strong for me now and I can’t really control him if he wants to say hello to another dog (/cat/squirrel). Regardless, it was nice to get out on my own with my boys, to get some head space. I even turned up pretty late to the almost rained off carboot on Saturday. I went prepared to spend my usual allowance of £20 and only spent 20p (there must be something wrong with me)! My friend was back from London over the weekend and invited me over for dinner and drinks and a night out. The half of my brain occupied by mrs negative was leaning towards bailing on the evening, but the little glimmer of light that had begun to flicker again said “no let’s go and get out of the house, it will do you good. What else are you going to do? Sit in front of the telly feeling sorry for yourself and go to bed by 9pm on a Saturday night!!??” And with that I didn’t even put any make up on but I made an small attempt put on a change of clothes. I dug out an old pair of jeans, which I haven’t worn in almost two years so I don’t know what possessed me to try, but they were just poking out of the bottom shelf of my newly tidied wardrobe. I was amazed that I got my bum in them again! I jumped on the scales to find iv lost 4lbs this week after being nil by mouth and indulging my liquid diet, every cloud and all that! I forced myself to go over to Nick and Hatty’s, which I knew was the right decision when I turned up and nearly gushed at the sight of a friend to hug on arrival! Then to be served up the best freshly cooked carbonara I have tasted since a trip to Jamie’s Italian, it was so good I even forgot about my tooth ache, or that could have been the glass of Prosecco Hatty forced in to my hand when I told her about the week I had had! I didn’t stay for the night out but made my way home feeling altogether more positive and lighter about everything. (Thanks Hatty and Nick!!) I felt fresh as a daisy when I woke up on Sunday and decided to get on with what I had originally planned on doing whilst Brad was away, lifting the hideous red wine colour carpet (it came like that, we haven’t wasted good wine all over it!) in our hall way and tidy up the floorboards ready for painting white to brighten the entrance to our home. Lifting the carpet revealed almost perfect floorboards so I’m debating painting them but had a good old clean and tidy up instead. After all the brain drama this week, and the horrible weather to match, Sunday afternoon came and the sunshine returned, lighting up the sky and my heart. My tooth feels like it’s on the mend too and everything is feeling brighter for the week ahead. I’m not sure if there’s a moral to this story, (get a dentist!) but I wanted to brain vomit all over you as a way to get my thoughts on paper (or screen) to let you know if your having a shit week, don’t worry it will get better, and if not, drink Prosecco, then it will be!! Lots of love and happy thoughts! ♥ Follow me on Twitter Follow me on Facebook Follow me on Instagram Follow me on Bloglovin Follow me on Tumblr Follow me on YouTube The post Monday Musings // Toothache and Brain Vomit appeared first on Fishee Designs.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 08:01:31 +0000