This may be an unusual post for some. But I am going to put it out there. No I am not depressed or angry. I am sad. As I sat soaking in a hot bath I started thinking about things, people. I have lived 47 years. In my 47 years I have learned a lot about love, relationships, sacrifices and gone through my fair share of pain. Both mental and physical. I had gains and losses. I am a sinner like everyone else and I am by no means perfect. But I just cant stand and watch the way the world treats each other. I asked the Lord to take hold of my soul and hold it close to him. I asked that I not allow the people of this world control my thoughts anymore. I cant continue to live to please others. I am asked for my thoughts and opinions just to watch what I say or feel be pushed aside. I refuse to get involved in others troubles. I am going to detach myself from everything except my youngest daughter. I will do everything in my power to raise her to be a God loving person. I will do my best to protect her the dangers of this world. I will hope and pray that my littlest one will respect herself and others. I know I cant protect her from getting hurt by falling down and scraping her knees or tripping over things that may be in her way or a boyfriend she will someday have. I will allow enough room for her to grow and learn. But as far as everything else, I am done with. It is so sad to watch those you care about continue to hurt themselves and others. My God, what happened to faithfulness and respect. Hell my own grown kids dont have respect for me. They talk to me like I am stupid or like I am one of their friends. I love my babies so much, but I need to let go and stop trying to help them make better decisions. Most of which I think are right for them. It is wrong for me to do that. It only hurts me to see the damage they do to themselves and others in their lives. I dont claim to know it all. I just want to see them be happy and to follow God. To make Godly decisions. Oh hell, who am I kidding? If I cant get it right, how do I expect them to? All I know is that I dont want any part of it anymore and all I ask is, stop throwing the love word around as if it were nothing. Love is a feeling, emotion. It is easily abused and thrown away. I hear all too often and I KNOW it is not meant. I know when I say those three words I mean it, I feel it. Sometimes I feel that it means nothing to the person I say it to. I dont want to be a part of all the games and hurtfulness anymore. Stop hurting each other, stop hurting yourselves. Especially where there are children involved. If you want to ruin your life, fine, but leave children out of it. They are innocent and all they want is love and acceptance. When a child tells you they love you, embrace it, cherish it hold onto it. If you cant be faithful to a child, who can you be faithful to?
Posted on: Wed, 02 Apr 2014 02:15:08 +0000
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