This might be the longest status ever in my fb life. Ive never regret what I have done even people say I was stupid. Im stubborn and I know it. Within these 3 years, I had been doing alot of things to cherish my relationship, even I know I was struggling alone on my side. I put myself in a first business by hoping to earn a ticket and visa to see you one day. I fail, but I fed up for only a week then get back again to my stance. I was always figure out way to see you as much as possible. I always hoped to spend more time with you because were living thousand mile distance. I was always sent to the moon whenever I was with you, and I wanted to stop the time right there. Last year, when I found you were fed up with life, I could not do anything here to cherish you but just could go to the temple and made special pray to get your smile back almost every holy day. It became my habit to carry flower, knelt down in-front of the Buddhist and whispering to have your pure smile back again even I did not know what the exactly problem was. However, during the early October, I was drag down til 0 which was the darkest period in my life event. I did not tutor myself because of heart ache but it seemed like everything stop working. I ate was just to survive because I did not feel the food taste. I forget this and that and did not know what exactly I was doing at my work. I spent like 1 hour to just buy a meal for lunch. People walked and crushed me in the market but I felt I was alone. I wanted to scream but I couldnt. I slapped my face but I did not wake up. After two week, my situation became worse and I needed to take some pills. I spent like one month to recover my physical health. I really pissed off, I wanted to end it but I also did not want my 8 months waiting melt. What hurt the most was when I carry my pain, my heart broken to see you and pretend as nothing happen. I just hoped you can feel my love and being honest to each other. I want nothing from you but just a real relationship because I believe no matter who we are, love is always beautiful. You purposely did this but I just keep calm and handle every piece of my heart alone and hoping I can stand until I see you again. I also hope, everything will be ok because I put alot of effort for this first love. Its easy like ABC to drag you down but I did not carry revenge and hatred, I need a peaceful life where there is no cheat, no lie and no revenge. I should have not opened alot of conversation and exchange email but I have no regret to love you. Even at the end I am the one who is treated like a rubbish, Ive learn to love myself more. Love cant kill me! I am a country side boy from the third world but it does not mean that I can be played like a toy. I have my own life value and I need to be respected by being honest in the relationship. You can do whatever you like but dont hurt anyone with your uncertain love relationship. If you commit to be in relationship with anyone, just being honest; it does not cost you a cent. My value is no cheat or lie because I know cheating or lie steal my good time. I prefer to cry with real word rather than to smile with the lie. Im not Rhihana, I dont like the way you lie. It was 8 months to wait you with a smile and it was another 5 months to wait you with tears. Yeah I cried, I cried for being stubbed behind my back but I pretend nothing happen. You might be very hurt to if someone you trust cheat on you, yeah it same same because heart is made of flesh and blood not wood. I tell you, even I am poor, I lead a happy life because I am real to everyone. I can list down 20 true friends here who love me for being who I am, Bunly Say. Again do not treat people like a waste, he has his life value and do not put your relationship under your feet because you do not know how it is hurtful to the one who commit in love. Of course, I still love you, I do not reject what my heart tells me but I do not beg anyone for a love.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Mar 2014 16:43:28 +0000