This morning, the woman who brought me into this world, died, thank goodness it was in the presence of my big sister Wendy. The woman Tye Rodda was still a mystery to me. Back in 2000, with the help of some dear friends with connections, I was able to make contact with not only her, but my grandparents, aunt and uncles,cousins, and one of my three sisters. Tye had five children...my older sisters Wendy Mottola DIsabella, Sherina Stevens, younger sister MarciJean Fambrini, younger brother Philip Valenzuela, and myself. Since 2000, four of us have been reunited and we hope to one day reunite with Philip. When I first met Tye, I could tell that there was still a great deal of dysfunction in her life. I was warned by my grandfather, her father, that I would be best served by keeping her at arms length. While I never expect to actually find out the true facts behind what sent her down the rabbit hole, I get the impression that she was simply exposed to the rougher side of motorcycle club lifestyle at a young age. As I was told that my grandfather was an original Boozefighter, it isnt a stretch to assume she had an early fascination with the biker lifestyle. She was caught up in the whirlwind that such a lifestyle subjects one to...and Im sure that led to her addictive nature. Sadly, she was never able to accurately portray to us who our biological fathers were...although one of her latest admissions was that Ralph Barger was one of our fathers. Sadly, after my big sister Wendy was given information that led to a mishap reunion, I gave up on ever really finding out who my biological father is. You can imagine the empty hole that leaves in a person. The only thing I might surmise from all of the information Ive been given, is that my father was probably a biker...interesting as I almost met my maker in just that manner. Heading my grandfathers advice, I never really fostered a relationship with my biological mother. Aside from a couple of visits and sporadic phone calls over the first few years, we never developed a relationship that should have been there from the beginning. Ill spare all of you the circumstances surrounding my relinquishment...of which I carry both the mental and physical scars, and come to think of it... I dont really know what led to my siblings relinquishments... All I do know is that she made the tough decision to accept the fact that she wasnt the best person to raise us...so she entrusted our care to more capable families. Being a father of three myself, I couldnt imagine a day going by without seeing my three lives... Its a brave decision a woman makes to give her child up. Over the years, I was able to meet several members of my biological family and have kept in contact with many of them, to varying degrees. Its a tricky balance nurturing these relationships...but one thing rings true. Tyes kids are all survivors. None of us came through childhood without a few bumps and bruises...and the cycle has come full circus for a few of us. That being said, Im very happy to know my sisters. Tyes passing marks the fourth of my biological family to cross over since 2000. She was preceded by her brother Mike, and both of her parents. Im hoping her present reunion with them is everything save the contentious relationships she shared with them while alive. Ill never know the true nature of the Rodda family dynamic in those early years of Tys life...perhaps its better that way. I knew this day would come...and I didnt quite know how I would feel. Now that it has come to pass...perhaps Im sad that the opportunity for us to really form that bond never came to fruition. That said...I am glad that I had the chance to meet her. My sister Wendy is a hero to us siblings. She was able to spend her final day with her and was there holding her hand as she passed. She took a progressive approach to care for her and even opened her home. She and Tye lived relatively close to each other and this afforded them the opportunity to develop a relationship. It was bumpy at times, but Wendy was ever the saint...and accepted the trials as a good daughter would. I makes me happy to know that Wendy was willing and able to watch over her as her health deteriorated. I can never thank Wendy enough. Its not every day that someone loses their mother. While my Mom is Mrs. Hayes😘...Tye deserves the recognition for making the tough choices...several times over. Tye, mother... rest in peace now. Your struggles and the demons you faced on earth are now gone. Until we meet again...rest in Gods Hands. Your son, Maxwell.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 07:39:48 +0000
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