This morning, while on the 4 train, the woman standing next to me discreetly pulled out a small plastic bag and began to vomit inside of it. My initial repulsion was abated when I realized she needed support. I reached out and started to rub her back. When the train began to speed up, I stretched my arm around her to support her because both of her hands were holding on to the bag and she was unable to stabilize herself. When she was finished, I quietly whispered Are you okay? She nodded and then I let her go. Immediately, I began to think about support--ones willingness to support and ones willingness to be supported. Inside of our willingness is a choice--a choice to not get caught up in a me focused conversation (Eww, Im so disgusted! / Dont touch me, I got it, Im fine, Im good.); the choice to act by either reaching out, or allowing someone to stabilize you. Its actually a very simple exchange and Im not sure why we dramatize the experience of supporting or being supported. You support, you let go, you go on with your day. You lean back when you need to, and once youre good, you let the other person know they can let go, and you go on with your day. BAM! Done deal! Before I got off the train, she touched my back. I looked back and she, very quietly, thanked me.
Posted on: Thu, 24 Jul 2014 14:13:15 +0000
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