This mum wanted to share and maybe you find something here useful x So, anyone who has been on here is the past 3 years will know me from my regular requests for help with my demanding little girl (now 3years 8month), who wakes at 5am approximately every day. Today, not so. I wanted to share a little bit of liberation I have achieved. And some thing I have come to understand. 1.) my child is spirited. 2.) shes amazing. 3.) Im ill and Im never going to recover. (I have a degenerative illness). I need to choose myself in some of lifes equations. 4.) I havent been, which has made me more tired and ill. So... 1.) I accepted she wakes at 5, and rejigged my day to reflect that. It means that pre-school is a little exhausting because for her its from 11-2pm basically. And its been hard on her. But she likes it. 2.) So I take her there after a snack, and pick her up with a lunch/snack. She likes that. 3.) I put her to bed as close to 5pm as I can. (I give her a bath in the morning in the 3 and a half hours I have to while away before pre-school starts). 4.) I put myself to bed as close to 9pm as possible. Which enables me try to have 8 hours sleep. Is has had the most amazing results, because I have always assumed from her short nap times and early rising that she is one of those children that doesnt need as much sleep as others. But its not true. She needs just as much. Its just the day doesnt unroll the way she needs it to. So she gets about 11 and 3/4 hours a night. And results... 1.) She gets more hours, which makes her a much easier less grumpy person to be around. 2.) This means that although still spirited she so not so demanding to be with. Still needs a lot of entertainment, and I do use some carefully vetted TV, (Im not superwoman and I also love the Octonauts). 3.) But its less taxing when you feel less shattered. And you are more able to be in the moment, which is, as everyone says, and excellent antidote to stress. And gives you a clearer head. 4.) Ive stopped staying up late chatting with my husband, (who is home at 8pm at the earliest). This is sad, because we see less of each other, and we do miss each other. But what we do see is much better because were less tired and therefore less resentful. Its a sacrifice, but we do gain some hours together before he leaves in the morning at about 7.15. Either way we are losing. But this is better because we lose less. And we can always chat in bed before we nod off, (although nodding off is a side effect of having our daughter). 5.) if I stick to this method, she shakes off illness a lot quicker than if I dont, (that and reducing sugar intake). None of this is perfect. If I could have it another way, I would have but I couldnt without abandoning my parenting goals. So this is the best Ive found. She still wakes to parent and not the TV, (which is saved for later and transitions). She is part of family life. Shes not a family pariah. So far, I havent found things get easier, and although I know Im supposed to treasure these moments, I just dont and havent. I realise now that when youre just a shell of your former self, its hard to treasure anything. You just do your best and fail a lot. Doing this, Ive found I fail a bit less. And Ive started to see a little bit of light shining through.
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 19:26:30 +0000
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