This one good reason why AMERICA is going down hill fast. Subject: Senator Porky Earmark To: Honorable Senator Porky Earmark U.S. Senate Building Washington, D.C, U.S.A. Dear Sir, I was evacuated from my Iowa farm along the Missouri River after them friggin tornadoes and terrible rains flooded everything, everywhere. The tornadoes took my old shack, out buildings and beat up old car. The flood took all my crops and darned near everything else. Im hoping that soon Ill be moving back and rebuilding on my old home place in Iowa, smack dab in the middle of Tornado Alley, and Ive been thinking I might go into business to supplement my welfare check My new friend here in Hogwaller, Arkansas received a check for $2,000 from the Government for not raising hogs. Right now Im getting extra help from the Government and Red Cross while Im displaced and living in a FEMA trailer camp, but when that stops I want to go into the not-raising-hogs business What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm to not raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all Governmental Policies. I would prefer to not raise razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed to not raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs. As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I havent raised. My friend in Hogwaller is very joyful about the future of this business. He had been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was $822 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for $2,000 for not raising 50 hogs. If I get $2,000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $4,000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $160,000 the first year. Then I can afford a car and maybe the gas to fill the tank. Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise? Also, I am considering the not milking cows business, so send me any information you have on that, too. In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps. Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election. Ill be voting just like every good Democrat, early and often! Patriotically Yours, Ima Taker Gimmesum FEMA VILLAGE Hogwaller, Arkansas PS. Please notify me when you are giving out more free cheese & peanut butter
Posted on: Mon, 20 Oct 2014 10:27:22 +0000
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