This one is for all my Catholic friends out there, Courtesy Andrea You know your Catholic when..... You and your girlfriend are friendly. Youve never had a grandmother, youve always had a Nana. The same goes for Dada. And for Vivian - Mamma You jive to hip-hop. Bastard is baashturd. And baashturd is always preceeded by bleddie. And if the DJ doesnt play the masala hes a bleddie baashturd and u feel like jhaaping or clipping him. The first thing you ask another catholic is which parish? Mazgaon is mazgon, Mahim is mayhim, Borivali is brivli, Bandra is banruh. And you are a Mayhim boy or a Banruh girl. Every sentence you say ends with men. And most sentences you say begin with cheh men Women are chicks and men are buggers. Its okay if you skipped your best friends birthday, but Sunday 9 oclock mass, have to go men, to meet da chicks and da buggers. You utter 9 Fs per 3 words. You know at least one person in Vasai, Borivali I.C. colony and Orlem, each. The old people in the family call you puta. Portugal is your favourite European country. You know 13 Savios and 7 Seans. (Shawns). Youve been living in Bombay all your life, but youre actually from Goa or Mangalore. You never say Mumbai. Youll skip the world cup final but not the Christmas dance. You love going to the local fete to watch the parish king and queen contest. Irritating person = swine. When you disagree you say balls. You cant play cricket to save your life, but you rock at football. You dont like Remo too much, but if a non- catholic doesnt like him, youll kick his arse for it. Your Hindi is a little better than Michael Jacksons. You claim you cant speak Konkani, but in reality, you can use it to win the Nobel Prize for literature. Christmas is not happy, its merry. Suits are black, dark blue and grey. Only On a Saturday night, you want to go out for a cupple-a-beers men. Sunday is chicken curry day. Your freezer is filled with last years Sorpotel, which if u heat and eat with pao no, its damn tashty men. You prefer chicken patties to chicken lollypops. When you order pav bhaji, you eat more pav than bhaji. If youre Goan you hate Mangies and vice-versa. Both Goans and Mangies hate East- indians a little. East indians are people whove always been living in west India, and have nothing to do with the west indies. Not from the east, not terribly Indian either. Your bar has an okay amount of booze. 365 days of the year. And you have some wine also men for the women who dont drink. You didnt watch Sholay but youve seen The Passion of the Christ. In a theatre. You think Mel Gibson is such a nice man. Hope now you know whether youre a pucca catlick... ;) or not
Posted on: Thu, 05 Dec 2013 07:00:54 +0000
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