This page is meant for one other, please excuse us as this is a private conversation.... I am innocent , Ive always been innocent and I think this is the fundamental difference between us, is you took to heart the catholic guilt and believe we have to be constantly rising above our inherent sinfulness. I am as opposite to that as can be. I know I am Heaven incarnate. As for your accusations - I watched a movie last night and then feel asleep exhausted from all the heartbreak I was put through this week. I am no longer going to try and prove myself, pouring my soul out here everyday for all to see and misunderstand, squeezing my oceanic heart into something rational, understandable that is not appreciated anyway and will be judged, and then only loving me to the degree in which it merits some standard. Im profoundly tired from the rounds of sweet communion and then cold hard rejection and withdrawal. I am a happy radiant beautiful woman, I have an arising lovely sadhana to serve, and though deep purification is ahead for the planet we are on the verge of a Golden Age that I have worked lifetimes for.. I am surrounded by loving respectful men and a wonderful new life, why would I continue with this? and give myself to someone that would treat me so badly because I sometimes imbibe a small amount of legal medical cannabis? that helps me with some auto-immune issues and has been shown in the form I take it in to even kill cancer? I wont! And I wont be forced to stop either. I prayed and fasted and purified and listened for days and God says this is not the issue, what this is really about is how he handles problems. I am more than willing to give up anything for Truth, and I have, much more than this, but my heart cannot surrender in this way. If you had just asked me nicely, said this makes me uncomfortable, I dont understand, can you let it go for a while? I would have done it in an instant, happily, because I was totally in love with you, adoring and surrendered, was so happy to have found you again in this life. Now though my trust and respect for you is damaged, I wont stick around for abuse. Om Namah Shivaya
Posted on: Sat, 28 Jun 2014 20:08:13 +0000
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