This poor girl has horrifically been through the same experience as our family. She sums it up perfectly. xxx You find your baby Cold and still No longer breathing No life left You try to make her breathe again You dial 999 The medics try to save her They tell you what you already know There is nothing that can be done Nothing they or you can do Your baby is taken to the hospital You follow Stunned Silent Shocked You are questioned You retell the little life you have lost It does not take long Not nearly long enough You have your chance to say goodbye You ruin it Begging a dead baby to wake up Something that somewhere inside you know she cannot do But you carry on begging her anyway Just incase there has been some terrible mistake Your baby is taken away You are taken home The house is quiet Oh so quiet No one really knows what to say Acknowledging death makes it real You think that you are going to be okay There is no emotion You are too numb to feel You send everyone away Until you realise you do not want to be on your own You try to tell other people Family and friends who need to know You do not know how to tell your children How do you explain their sister has died? Their baby sister has gone to the sky. Beyond the clouds and we will never be able to see her again. The earliest hours are the hardest You just don’t know what to do You have to try and function But are unsure how to begin The tea keeps coming Hot and sugary sweet The tears keep flowing Warm and stinging and salty Your heart keeps breaking Over and over again Your mind keeps questioning Was it our fault? What more could we, should we have done? Hours turn to days, days turn to weeks Questions are still unanswered Why did she die? How did it happen? Baby is taken for post mortem Surely then we will have the answers that we need? Baby did not suffocate. Baby did not overheat. No obvious cause of death. They have looked for the most obvious, possible things. Sudden Infant Death. When a healthy baby dies For absolutely no reason at all. How are you supposed to live with that? How can you ever make things right? How can life ever be peaceful again? With all the questioning The worrying The panicking How can you go on as a mother when your baby dies? How can you go on a father when your baby dies? How do you continue to grow as a family when your baby dies? Post Mortem, finished. Funeral, finished. All the people who have stood solidly by your side Trickle away to the reality of lives of their own Families complete and waiting to be loved What happens to you after a baby dies? Nothing is ever normal again. Your heart goes on breaking. Your mind goes on blaming. A never ending circle of questions and worries and tears The immediate pain is over But the searing, burning, painful pain Does not ever go away It hits you when you least expect it Knocks you to the ground and holds you there As you strain and squirm And search for some light at the end of the long dark tunnel The darkness that you are lost in After your baby dies.
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 16:15:55 +0000
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