This post is long overdue and its going to be a long one so I apologize in advance. As many of you may have noticed I havent been on here as much lately. I have had some things to work on. As anyone who knows me knows I have had some pretty serious health problems for a few years now. Anyone who really knows me knows I have also battled depression and not taken care of myself like I should have either. I let myself go and didnt go to doctors like I should have. I sat around feeling sorry for myself and eating and getting more lazy and unhealthy by the day. I made all of my problems worse and waited until it was almost too late to do anything about it. I lost my health, my home, and my little ones in the process. I lost my pride and my self respect. I unintentionally hurt people and let others down. I hit rock bottom really quick. I more than doubled my size in a year and a half. I owe friends because some actually were there when times got tough. And surprisingly it was for the most part people I hardly know and not some of my true friends who were there. There are too many names to mention but you all know who you are and I can never thank you enough. Theres one set of names I must thank. Chris and Christy Collins. No matter what you think or how inconvenient and awkward you let me in your home when I had nowhere else to go. I temporarily have a roof over my head thanks to you. I will be forever grateful. Now for the not so pleasant part. I may have struggled and I may have no one to blame but myself, but...... Im still a man and still a father. My kids always have and always will be my whole world. No piece of paper, no divorce, no separation, and no amount of money someone spends on them will EVER change that. Not naming any names, but I have been told that i am basically an overweight worthless piece of crap. I am apparently not a father because I dont have money to provide the way I should at the moment. Let me say this. I dont want or need anyones sympathy or handouts. I dont need to be belittled and told I told you so or you knew this was coming. No. I didnt. I was blind. My only focus was spending as much time as possible with my kids. I am down but not out. I am making major changes in my life and getting better daily. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have lost 75 pounds and almost got my diabetes under control. I will be back better and stronger than before. I was somebody before and I will be again. For the doubters and haters, I will pray for you and have to wonder how you sleep at night. Does it make you feel better about yourself to put everyone else down and point fingers??? Does it make you feel better because you have money? I may not be on top right now, but I will be again. And I sleep at night knowing that if I leave this world tomorrow my kids will know that they were loved. I can sleep at night knowing that no matter what I wont give up. I sleep knowing that God is with me and helping me through. I sleep knowing that even when i have nothing of my own I would still help others. I have morals, manners and values and above all my faith. I am and always will be a man and a father and I will prove you wrong if you say otherwise. I feel sorry for you if you feel it necessary to try and hurt others to make you feel better. Thanks again to those who really care. The rest of you I hope that one day you realize whats really important in life. I promise you that it isnt money. I am on my way back. Either walk beside me or behind me. Just dont get in front of me and be in my way. This is me fighting back for my kids and I. I got myself in this mess and I am going to get myself out. With a little help from doctors, God, family and the few friends who still care. Thanks and I love you all
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 06:53:07 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015