This post may be a little all over the place, I apologize. It may be raw and open, I apologize. Part of it is so personal Im not sure how much I should divulge, but I will try. We have so many blessings in our lives, but at times it seems the blessings are accompanied with pain, too much. My son played varsity golf this year, something I never believed I would witness after my ALS diagnosis. A blessing. I may not be here next year, or chances likely I will not be able to ride in golf cart to follow him. The pain. I love watching him play, not just golf but any of his sports he once played. I can without a doubt count on one hand since he was five how many events I missed. I was there, I knew what was important before ALS. A blessing. Knowing what Ill miss, future golf matches, his chasing the golf dream, future awards. The pain. He isnt the best golfer but he has potential, more than he knows. But hes my golfer. All of his bogeys, slices, 3- putts I love. You see he isnt perfect, and pressures himself to be. His emotions run high, can you imagine what is going through this young boys mind? I will tell you, me. Me maybe not being here to watch him golf, to be here for him. I am ashamed to admit one match his attitude got to me , I went to the car, didnt finish watching. Shame on me. I was wrong. Today it came full circle to me, bad hole he was visibly upset, he said through tears, I play for you. Wow, you see kids know, they think, he wants to play perfect for me, because he knows my time is limited. All of his miñd is on me. Shame on me and those around this golf season that havent been more supportive and caring. None of us are perfect but its important to be whole. I pray Dom is one step closer to being whole in golf and life, its not what number you finish but how you finish. He has a way to go more on his plate than deserved, but hell get there. Parents dont wish for the season to be over, I only pray I see another. Take off work, watch your kids, it will do wonders for your heart and your child’s. Its our jobs. Hell not a job, a love. I received a text from a dear friend this evening I wish the weather would stay like this forever me too my sweet friend Ellie, then I could freeze time watching Dom golf and letting him get all his emotions out. Real life. Real facts. Real me.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 04:10:05 +0000