This time of the year is supposed to be so happy. I have often wondered why? Arent we as Christians supposed to celebrate Christs birth daily, not just in December? I am finding it EXTREMELY hard to be happy although I am trying so hard for EZRA!!! Today 42 years ago my father died - I was 6 years old. I cant say I miss him because I didnt know him. This Christmas Mike and I are without our moms - now I can say I miss them and Mr. Blissard. I know, I know in the big picture we are so blessed. Mother is not suffering anymore (praise God) Mrs. Blissard is reunited with Mr. Blissard. But my heart aches so badly. I dont feel the Christmas spirit and I have to find it for my child. I cant go around with these tears in the corners of my eyes and I cant continue to be mad at the whole world. Im mad at all things happy. Im mad at whole and happy families. Im mad at smiling faces. Im mad at little girls with daddies. Im mad at mammas and draughts that laugh and have fun together. Im mad at happy people. Im sorry for the soul cleansing this morning. But I am in GREAT need of prayer!!!!
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 13:31:23 +0000