This was the hardest Christmas for me this year. The funds never materialized to spoil my family so it was emotionally the hardest season. When you love to give sometimes its hard knowing my hands were tied. I journeyed thru weeks of choir practice even when Somedays I felt like I couldnt breath with stress of provision just for my monthly obligations. My heart didnt want to rejoice in my inability to provide. But I knew that is my call. My gift. Singing is my worship to our Heavenly Father. So I pressed on. And finally a few days ago I finally surrendered and just let go of all the pain I inflected upon myself. And just decided I would do the best I could in all things. Id change my sorrow to joy and just trust our always faithful Father. It always amazes me when I ask the Lord for something in prayer I expect an answer and at the same time Im always trying to figure out how I can make it happen. As I sang last night at our three church services I felt a peace thats hard to explain. I let the words restore my soul. God shows up. He blesses my family in other ways thru other family members. The sound of ripping paper, and fresh coffee brewing, kids laughter, baby cooing, the shouts of games being played around the kitchen table, the bacon cooking the smells of breakfast the chill of the morning air the warmth that fills my heart as I look around the room and know that this is my family. These are the gifts and promises of God to me. To take it all in. To see hes there meeting all our needs. Even for me in all my dark moments. Its funny He hears us even when when we dont ask for ourselves. Even when its just crying from a sore twisted body for a new comfortable bed (I got a new bed) or some new clothes (I got a gift card) or even a case for a tablet (it even has elephants my favorite). He lives. He loves. He is faithful. Just trust and believe. Thank you kids and thank you Jesus.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 02:12:55 +0000
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