This week Sarah Palin (former half-term Alaska governor) and George Zimmerman (self-appointed deputy acquitted of killing Trayvon Martin) both were heard to ask, “Do you know who I am?” I know you are as sad as I that these two semi-celebrities are not recognized. Imagine, if you will, that you know how famous you are—but the sea is not parting before you, people are not genuflecting, and you have to seat yourself at Taco Bell. To rectify this injustice, I am creating the Has-Been Awareness Foundation. We are collecting money through our fund-raiser (where we dump phone books on someone’s head). With that funding we will create a series of PSAs in which we show celebrities not being recognized. In the first, Gary Glitter yells at a barista, “Do you know who I am?” And she replies haltingly, “One of the Backstreet Boys?” He hangs his head and shuffles out of the shop. Up comes the legend, “The horror!” Fade to black. Up on large white letters on flat black, “HBA.” Fade out. We’ll have milk cartons with Jeremy Miller and billboards with Rob Stone, each promoting Has-Been Awareness. Something must be done, now! Or these people will just become answers to Trivial Pursuit questions. Is that what you want, America?
Posted on: Sat, 13 Sep 2014 14:58:35 +0000