This week has tested my limits, my ability to believe in myself and questioned my strength. I have always felt like life was consistently throwing curve balls in my direction. I have made many wrong decisions, things I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I am not perfect but I can sleep at night knowing I have God on my side. I have walked next to demons and drank till I didnt remember. I have lost friendships and relationships due to the bottle and selfishness. I have been weak and knocked to me knees. I have been angry and hurt. I have pushed people out of my life for caring to much and for that I am deeply sorry. I feel as if I have lost myself at times. These past couple months I feel as if I have really began to identify with myself and I started to be able to look in the mirror. Nobody knows the struggles of another individual especially when they are locked away inside. I have always tried to please everyone around me and when I thought I was truly doing something for myself, in all honesty I was being selfish and using excuses to make my decisions seem okay. I have always prided myself on being a good friend and listener but by constantly being everyone elses shoulder I forgot that I at times need one too. I have found a person who as well may not be perfect but who believes in me and has helped me grow. Has held my hand and fought battles beside me. Our relationship is NOWHERE near perfect but the progression itself is astounding. You are the light in my life amor and I could not fight these battles alone. Thank you babe. I want to thank your mom as well for giving me a chance and believing in me as well and always being an open ear when I need her. To my family, we have gone though so much together and been tested by evil. Things have seperated us but have never been strong enough to tear us apart. Through ups and downs we have always managed to find the light and triumph. I love you all individually for different reasons. I cannot begin to express my gratitude for the amount of love I have felt this holiday season when I truly needed it. I felt as if I had finally been broken and I felt really alone. You individually surprised me because with every word, you put me back together. Thank you I can never show you how much it really means. I have struggled but with all of you beside me I believe their is a brighter future and I am sorry it took so long for me to get there. I guess sometimes all we really need is a giant slap in the face. The overwhelming amount of love and support I have received is indescribable. Thank you again. I cherish you all and love you deeply. ❤ Life has many ways of testing a persons will, Either by having nothing happen at all or having everything happen at once. - Paulo Coelho
Posted on: Sun, 30 Nov 2014 06:48:04 +0000