This weekend #TEAMEEYORE is traveling to DC to #runwiththemarines in the Marine Corps Marathon. Were running to collectively honor our Reidy, to celebrate our beloved Marine Corps, to honor our fallen brothers and sisters who now walk amongst The Greats. Running 26.2 miles is a thrilling, intense empowering experience and Im told this marathon goes far beyond that average marathon experience in terms of the powerful tribute made to veterans, fallen brothers and sisters and those of us who survive them. Thank you to every. single. one. of. you. who has devoted hours of your life supporting my path to this event with childcare, meals, encouraging calls and texts and messages, virtual high fives, running companionship, logistics and race weekend planning/coordinating, t-shirt design/print/shipping and support and donations to Team Eeyore with Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) which raises money to support families like mine living life after loss. Thank you especially to my amazing parents Dale and Dianne Handel Simpson who have literally dedicated every single Saturday for weeks on end to coming to my house before the sun was up to hang with my kids while I ran four hours and hours, brought lunch and fed my kids while I recovered on the floor, helped me wrangle my team to Saturday soccer games as I limped through my parenting duties post-long run and more. My village is literally filled to the brim with amazing people who have carried and hoisted me to the starting line on marathon day. This is my second marathon and while Ive got those pre-race jitters all over again, I am just overcome by the enormity of all this weekend entails for me personally and so many of you along with me. My first marathon was supported by my wonderful Reidy by my side in March of 2011 for another of our classic lets get away together for 48 hours and cram a weeks worth of together time in (Thank you Mary Ann Hays Nannen and Dale for encouraging us to take this time together whenever you came to visit us and in turn giving up a few days with your son, it was much appreciated then but Im even more grateful now that we did not wait until a period of our lives when there was more time for us-time). Betsy was just under a year old and we whipped up the CA 101 to the Napa Valley Marathon for the weekend, delighting in one anothers company and time and space to just be together, just us, and fall in love all over again. He tasted wine and I chugged water. And I was on cloud nine to be riding through life on his arm. The highlight of my race was not my 4:05 finish but spotting him sporadically along the course, hunkered down in his rain jacket on the chilly rainy sidelines. Each hug and high five and proud smile on his face was all I needed to keep going. Just one more incredible precious page of the story we shared. As I type this to the songs of GLEE (he is the reason I watched it, he is the reason we have every GLEE song ever made pre March 2014 in our iTunes lineup, yes its a ridiculous story but we both geeked out about the musical theater aspect of it and Im so thankful), the constant soundtrack of my life because literally every single song makes me feel the essence of him dancing life back into my heart, Im crying tears of pure joy reliving the memory of this first marathon and it compounds the impact of this coming weekend even more deeply. The decision to sign up for this marathon in the weeks following his accident was about so many things, but certainly it has been one of my only ways to continue crawling my way forward, literally running my way back to life beyond us somehow and forcing me to create space and quiet for myself in the aftermath of saying goodbye to my soul mate and an international relocation with four babes in tow; forcing me to decide to continue on, to accept my own challenge in hopes of finding my strength and my stride in life as my physical ability grew. Every step of these runs has been quiet time with the space of myself to process this reality, to feel his presence which I so gratefully sense with me most days, and to literally connect to my own strength. In the beginning it was harder to dig deep and get through the long runs, I told my close friends my deep was full and I had to get to a new level of deep to find my grit and determination to carry on...physically Im ok but my deep is still so weary and Im only just beginning to seep out of the fog of shock and denial Ive been trapped in for all these months and the reality becomes more real and the emotional highs and lows are so big and the tears of joy and tears of sadness come and come and come. This physical training has simply been one more way of breaking myself down over and over to let the reality trickle in slowly in a way I could handle it and the processing continues. I can honestly say I face this weekend with equal parts delight and dread because I realize it will simply be another enormous weekend of emotional/mental processing and connection with family and so many of my most dear friends on this earth by my side all while looking this reality of losing my best friend squarely in the eye. Oh, and well run 26.2 miles just to really do something big and powerful with our time. Thank you to every single person far and wide and around the globe who is sending all of us love and light and strength as we tackle the physical and the giant emotional signpost this weekend will be. Im grateful for creating space to celebrate him and to also connect with this amazing family Ive been gifted along the journey of life thus far. Thank you all for being my tribe, for holding my hand when I need it, for giving me space when I need it, for dancing with me when I need it. Swim Fast team.
Posted on: Thu, 23 Oct 2014 04:04:24 +0000
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