This weekend was perfect, heaven on earth! It was just Josh and me! He put his full trust in me and a little of the hurt was healed. I saw so much of the Josh I remembered, he just kept looking at me and smiling. We took several long walks in the sunshine and we didnt even need to talk, we were just together in a quiet togetherness, he felt safe calm, may be he senses it will all be OK. He walked by himself, no being held, he washed himself, dressed himself and you could see that strength and determination that I love so much about him. He let me know when he wanted my comfort and we had several loving moments. Despite everything, our bond is still there, unbreakable. We kicked balls, played with water and plaster cine, kicked leaves and enjoyed being out and to remind him there is a normal life out there, watching other children play. you have every right to be part of our world and not shut away. My heart beamed with pride , at his bravery. I know he longs to be out of where he is and this would have been the perfect time to move him, while he is in this frame of mind. Im sure yet again it will be another moment missed by Cornwall. I let him do everything in his own time, no pressure, no demands, very little verbal. Joshuas choice. He needs to remember the independent soul he is, not a robot, not being told what to do and when!! But Josh thank you, thank you for letting me know your love for me and letting your soul shine through. You looked so sad when I told you I had to go, I said to you that I didnt want to go but had too, you seemed to understand. I cried a lot leaving you, my heart is so heavy, it breaks again and again each time I walk away. Im elated for the special moments we had but yet so raged that this ever happened. Yes the light is insight but yet several months is a year to Josh and I, he should have been back before Christmas. The rail lines are terrible and poor weather will hinder our journeys, 7 hours it took me to travel back last night. Im missing him like crazy and just hope and pray the next few months we will be able to reach him each weekend. My star Josh, keep shining, love you with every ounce of my being x x x
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 11:14:08 +0000
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