This will be a long post, but I would like to personally testify of the goodness of God in my life in the past year. 2014 had to be the roughest year Ive experienced so far in my young life. In the beginning of the year, I had to make a change in discipleship. I didnt want to join another church at that time because I had honestly began to lose hope in the church. I had seen things over the years that made me question the existence of authentic people of God. Even as God had showed and confirmed the place where I needed to be, it took a minute to accept it as well as the family that came with it. Not too long after that, I experienced heartbreak in a way that was unlike anything I could have ever imagined. Attached to this pain came a lot of doubt in myself. I started doubting my ability to hear God which in turn left me doubting if I had ever heard God on anything in my life. Needless to say, depression began to come into my life. Somehow I found the strength to mask the depth of my pain. I hid behind work and busyness. I held jobs that forced me to smile when I didnt want to. In church, meetings, and before people I appeared to be making it just fine. The truth was that when night came, and it was just me, I was lost and broken. As time went along, I had lost passion for just about everything. I didnt care too much for school. I didnt care too much for ministry. And after a while of crying out to God and seeing no change and feeling no different, I began to not care much for the things of God. I couldnt understand how my prayers and words helped others and brought them life, yet I was still barely hanging on. Honestly, I felt like doing things the way Jazmine knew how. I tried to fill my voids the way Jazmine knew how. But even in those times, God remained present in my life, and He wouldnt allow me to go back down the road of destruction that He had delivered me from. When I realized that I couldnt do life like I wanted, I returned to God. I began to cry out before Him. I stopped caring about what it looked like. I knew that God had to have a plan of salvation and rescue for me. So I prayed, cried, and trusted. I prayed, cried, and trusted. When it seemed that I felt worse, I prayed, cried, and trusted some more! I began to believe and stand on Gods word more than my feelings. Slowly, I found my joy again. I got peace again. I started wanting more of God. My passion for Him and everything associated with Him grew. The more I went to Him, the more He healed me. The more He changed my mind. The more He changed me into His image. I became whole. My worship went to a different level. Where I worried about life after graduation, job offerings in different counties came. Even outside of the state! I learned to trust God even when I couldnt trace Him. And even in the broken relationship, I saw how God had allowed it to happen to remove some ways and habits and to destroy some ungodly mindsets and beliefs in order to be with the man of God as He planned and desired. So God even brought that back. As I sit and reflect, my heart is overjoyed. I praise God for His faithfulness in my life. I thank Him for His direction even when I was lost. I couldnt see how anything in my life was working together, but He promised that they would. They did, and they still are. People saw me and had no idea that I faced the hell I faced. People look at me now and cant imagine me with a bad day. But the joy of the Lord is my strength. Nothing that I have or am is me, but its ALL God! Be encouraged! He has no respect of person. I watched Him move in peoples lives around me, Hes moved in my life, and He is MORE than able to do the same for you. You just have to trust Him.
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 12:18:09 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015