This would be my Matts 25th birthday. I was struggling with what to post here today. His birthdays are now such a mix of emotions--happiness about his birth and life, as well as many tears that he is no longer here with us in the physical world. My posting struggle ended when I received the following message from Matts friend, Nick Lardinois. With Nicks permission, here is his message. Its long (and beautiful), and I hope youll read it. Mrs. Roelse, I was thinking about messaging you the other day but never got around to it. Seeing that its Matts birthday today, I figured today would be a good time. Ive never shared with you how much Matt meant to me. I know you probably get these stories all of the time but Im sure they never get old.Theres so many stories I want to share but Im not sure where to begin or how to organize them so I apologize if they are incoherent and seem like rambling. First, his locker was two away from mine in high school and while I was like most freshman and mildly intimidated by the seniors, I always felt comfortable going to my locker because Matt made sure I felt comfortable and talked to me any time he saw me. This continued at UW-Madison also. Every time I saw him walking to class or in the grocery store, he sought out to talk with me and say that we should hang out sometime, and he genuinely meant it. He was always inviting and willing to meet new people and try new things and had this knack of making people feel special and worthy which is one of the greatest gifts I can imagine. Also, I remember one time in high school I posted a Facebook status about how I was stressed out about having to go to school all the time just to work all the time and how it felt so daunting and not how life was meant to be lived. He commented on my status with this story and some words of encouragement: lifeprinciples.net/SuccessatLife.html I saved the story and still read it every once in awhile when I get the same sort of mundane angst that I felt that day. Again, Matt was seeking out to make me feel comfortable and valid. I like to think that we share a lot of the same values now a days but I honestly think about him all of the time, especially in hard times, and think what would Matt do? He lived an amazing life and never took a moment for granted. He was truly special. There has been times that I have been sitting in my living room at school with Otto, Wilson, Max Lukach, and others from Sheboygan North who knew Matt and he comes up and we all share stories about how he was sincerely one of the greatest individuals we all have ever met, hands down. This brings me to my last two tidbits about Matt that Ive always wanted to share with you. The first is that the immediate moment I got off the phone with Jake Stengel after he told me that Matt had passed, I thought to myself, I am going to be a better big brother to Eric. Eric and I have always had a special bond and were always extremely close, but we bickered and competed and fought sometimes like brothers do. But I often felt guilty about this and like I should swallow my pride and be a selfless older brother and be his rock and support system. The night I found out that Matt passed, I vowed to be more like Matt with my relationship with Eric. I knew how much Matt meant to Nathan and Andy and wanted to be a better superhero to my little brother like Matt was. Now I apologize in advance, because these next thoughts might be confusing because they are slightly philosophical but it was the most profound way Matt impacted my life. I have long struggled with my spirituality and have been back and forth with what I believe and such. Im a logical and practical guy and so many things didnt make sense to me. But I struggled with this. Well, what Matt taught me was that souls exist. But I dont think of souls as a physical entity like some people but I view them as more of an aura, or the impact you have on others when you pass. And I realized this when Matt passed because everybody I knew had a story to share and a special moment with Matt. His soul was so powerful, profound, caring, and genuine. His physical time here may have ended but his soul will forever live on, and parts of him will always be with people, many of those impacts you may never hear about or never know, but he will always be there. I hope this helps you on his birthday and during this holiday season. Matt was a special, special person and I have yet to meet anyone who has been as holistic as Matt. I will forever be grateful for the times he went out of his way for me and for the lessons he taught. Much love and thoughts to you and your family, Mrs. Roelse!
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 17:09:18 +0000
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