This year has been full of changes - many gains, some losses too - but overall, I think, an improvement over the last one. Yes, I have one of those birthday things today. Im not a big celebrator - dont like that kind of attention. Just thankful (most of the time) that I survived another year. Im now 51. At 50, I considered me to be not just a half-century old, but a half-centurion. In ancient Rome, the centurion was the commander of a centuria, which was the smallest unit of a Roman legion... (Encyclopedia Brittanica), nominally around 100 men. Im not into commanding 50 or 100 people and I dont have a chariot or wear a toga, but I do command ME. My own life. Captaining my own ship. Its been a tough battle getting here, hampered by major depression, social anxiety, and a few crises; it will always be tough staying here, and it took (and will always take) help from others. Unless youre a hardcore survivalist, I dont think its possible to live completely in isolation, nor is it psychologically healthy to do so. But over time Ive learned to speak up for what I need and tell people they cant yank me around, run my life, or trample on my thoughts, feelings, and needs, any more that I can on theirs. I like my life. I like my half century. I like keeping my circle small. I have lots to look forward to. I plan on sticking around a while longer.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 14:33:10 +0000
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