Those of you that know me, know that I have been a birth junkie for the last 20 years. I love reading anything and everything that has to do with new life coming into this world. Maybe thats why I enjoy gardening and planting seeds so. Here is a testimony of a mother that did not get a chance to bond with her first child due to protocol. She gives her memory of the experience after that where there was no interference with the first moments of bonding. Some medical professionals jump past this step thinking that its not the priority at the moment......they think weighing and measuring the child is more important. Well research clearly shows that the intial steps of bonding should never be interfered with or it can actually be disastrous. Postpartum depression is a taboo subject but it doesnt have to be if people would remember that mother knows best! My opinion is that priorities apply in all areas of life in order to have solid relationships built on a solid foundation. You cant just skip the basics. Let Time Stand Still: Bonding with Your Baby I’ve heard it said about different momma animals that if you take their baby away immediately after birth and then try to reintroduce the newborn later, the momma animal will reject her newborn and refuse to care for it. The disruption in the bonding time results in disastrous outcomes. When my first daughter was born, I remember lying on a hospital bed in a dark corner of the hospital room with a tray of hospital food in front of me. I looked across the room and tried to watch as my husband and mother bathed my little LilyAnn for the first time. Unfortunately, I couldn’t see LilyAnn, but I still had a smile on my face thinking, “My husband and mom are bathing my daughter! She is finally here and they are having a wonderful moment together.” I then looked back down at my hospital tray wanting to eat something since there was so much food in front of me, but unable to decide what to try. My heart was full as I sat in that dark corner with my tray of food. When we finally left the hospital, my husband carried LilyAnn over the threshold of our house—she was home. Nursing was a bit of a challenge at first, but we got the hang of it, and since my labor and delivery had been drug-free, I recovered quickly and easily. Things were going pretty smoothly, that is until the nighttime cries began. I remember thinking that LilyAnn was much more of a daddy’s girl—he was the one who would comfort her when she cried while I had a hard time listening to her shrill pitches. I can remember feeling like my nerves were being stretched further than they ever had—way further. LilyAnn didn’t really like snuggling with me, and I ended up feeling like I was just a milk machine to her. When I nursed her I got to hold her, but compared with her dad, I felt like chopped liver. I was thankful that the two of them had a special bond, though. It was evident that my husband was an amazing father and I felt truly blessed that I wasn’t doing everything on my own. I became pregnant with baby number two about two and a half years later. We were overjoyed and found out about the pregnancy the night before Mother’s Day 2008. LilyAnn was going to be a big sister! With this mystery baby, we decided on a homebirth. I had a feeling the baby was a boy, but during the whole pregnancy LilyAnn was convinced she was going to have a baby sister. I never had an ultrasound, so it wasn’t until January 23, 2009, that we all found out LilyAnn was right—Adalyn Jane came out and ended the mystery. By this time, LilyAnn had become Mommy’s big helper. Throughout the days of pregnancy she would “tuck me in” on the couch (I would often fall asleep for a bit!). Even during labor she was very attentive to me; she would come upstairs and during a contraction say, “It’s okay, Momma—you can do it. It’s okay!” After an intense all-night labor, and 11 days past her due-date, Adalyn came out covered in vernix at 7:21 am. That’s when time stood still. All four of us, plus my mom who had flown out to help with the birth, hung out on the bed the whole morning. Nobody was worried about bathing, weighing, or even cutting the cord. Adalyn stayed attached to her placenta for a full 45 minutes! All we were concerned about was loving Adalyn Jane. I remember waking up in the nights to Adalyn’s cries. Instead of feeling my nerves stretched, I would experience joy and smile as I said, “I’m coming, Honey!” I didn’t ever resent being woken up—I was exhausted, but it was a happy tired. From what I have read and experienced, my conclusion is this: the time immediately after birth is enormously important for bonding and when it is honored, the process of becoming a mother becomes an easier one. — Nancy Halseide Excerpted from “Let Time Stand Still: Bonding with Your Baby,” Midwifery Today, Issue 102
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:43:13 +0000
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