Though the announcement was a dreaded one; It came to be! My dear sweet mama has gone to be with our Lord. She is now a butterfly as she expressed in the days leading to her end. The hurt is unbearable! The pain is real! Her courageous, abundance of faith attitude has inspired me in a way that nothing will ever compare! This photo was taken right after diagnosis and all our prayers were for a better result; we believed it so!!!!! I am sooooooo PROUD of her and the strength she endured, she showed us all that fear is not a reason to give in or up. Quite contrary, fear is a reason to try harder! She was in no way ready to leave her family an extended family..... Her body simply didnt agree. Conclusion is that she denied her end til the end..... She held on with an admirable strength that you can simply not help but to be infeceted with. It all starts with the MOST BEAUTIFUL SMILE you have ever seen!! Will I feel complete again? Probably not! Will the pain disappear? Absolutely not! She was young.... 48 years old. Her very last gasp was at 4:31 pm (12/14/2014). Will this day ever come to me in peace???? My new prayer is that is will!!!! She would want it to be! I am in a bad dream that I cant shake and though my love for her is soooooooooooo strong I understand you must expereicnce this level of pain........in order to truly adore those that mean the most. She was without color or life to put it bluntly...... however, she was/is/and always will be the absolute MOST AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL PERSON I have yet to know! To say she will be missed is an understatement. Hands down.... this loss and uneasy feeling I do not wish on anyone! Learning to live without her will be a challenge, one that I know will not be easy, yet it is one that for her sake and the sake of our Father I must succeed with. In the meantime, I simply have been looking through photographs and remembering all the OH SO WONDERFUL times we were indeed blessed to share!! Those memories are the ones I want to remember!!! This is by the far the hardest thing I have ever done.... saying goodbye wasnt easy but she deserved a proper one. We ALL told her how proud we are of her and how our love, strength, and courage was uplifiting hope. A hope that doesnt fade or disappear because at first it doesnt succed....... However, it ia a hope that I absolutely plan to embrace!!!! Mama you mean the world to me and ALWAYS WILL!!!
Posted on: Mon, 15 Dec 2014 09:31:58 +0000
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