Thoughts From Normalville - Whats it all mean... In 2002 I began to experience pain in my legs. In the next 5 years three separate doctors insisted it was my L3 that was constricting, and I ate pain meds and shot steroids into my spine. All to no avail. But then I finally found a doctor who looked at things differently, and realized that, as I expected, the problem was in my legs. Hips to be exact. I needed bilateral replacement. In January 2007 I was scheduled for my first surgery. In July I did the second one. I could again walk to the mail box. Ride my bike. Swim. It was a glorious 5 months - but them something happened. I started to feel something in the right hip joint, that radiated through my quadricep. Several visits to the doctor, x-rays, and a dozen visits to PT, no one could figure out the problem. X-rays showed that the hip was fine. Hadnt dislodged. And then, in 2010, I got a letter. That letter informed me that the hips I had installed had a defect. They leached cobalt and chromium into my body, to levels 8-10 times normal, blood tests would prove, and this caused many adverse symptoms to appear. I would need to have them both replaced. So, in 2011 and 2012, I was back in surgery, and dealing with months of rehab again. All went well for me. I had the process down to the gnats ass, and got through it all as quickly as possible. If I were ever asked I would tell anyone who needs this operation to do it, do it fast, and get your life back. But thats not the story. Its what I came to realize from all of this. After my first operation in 2007, I woke up to the sound of Channel 4 News on the TV. The newscaster was talking about one of their colleagues. Pete Wilson died today. He died on the operating table while getting a hip replacement. Shortly after watching that, my wife, Ceily, walked in. She had all the things I would need for the next 2 days, and some soup she made and brought in for me (the food in that place was abhorrent). I knew the dangers of anesthesia when I went in. I knew the dangers of a heart attack during surgery (thats what killed Wilson). The whole time I was preparing for surgery I kept thinking, I cant die because Ceily still needs me. I mean, what if her computer had a glitch? What about that leaky toilet I had to fix? I not done setting up our finances for retirement. The windows in the home need replacement. I CANT die yet! Ive spent 40 years with Ceily. I know all the things shes given me. Happiness. Humor. Comfort. Care. Children. A home. But maybe her greatest gift was the will to go on. To stay alive one more day - for her. I didnt know this feeling 20 years ago, but before each operation, thats what crossed my mind. I have to make it through for Ceily. And after each and every operation, there she was, waiting for me to wake up, so she could smile with relief, and hand me some Jewish penicillin, thankful that we could spend another day together. I woke up again that morning. She doesnt really need me. Shes quite capable without me. But how two people transform as they become a single being is not an easily explained circumstance. When this happens its more than the sum of two people. And its not a short term process. It takes decades. It changes form. It redefines itself all the time. I think the human condition is a wonderful thing. Ive been fortunate to have an easy life, and to share it intimately with someone who so easily fits with me. I cant even say it was hard, because it seems like it was so easy. I just wanted to profess these things, well, because I thought it might inspire a few others. Im a pretty positive fellow, and maybe with good reason. I was fortunate. And to you who have never experienced what I describe, have hope. One never knows when it will come to them. The only thing one needs is to wake up in the morning, and try again.
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 13:05:34 +0000
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