Thoughts of a black man # I started digging deep today...not with a shovel but with past mistakes that have slowed me down in this search for buried treasures called a mind at peace, a piece of mind, and that tricky thing called success. I do not know if I am blessed to be here because I have to ask my self what am I here for. Truth be told I have hurt myself more than any woman in my past (MOTHER) or any Jim Crow (ABSENTEE FATHER) could just because I have not figured out that I could (the little engine #BRAIN)...I can make IT.....that I can be a responsible man despite the plan to have me hate myself enough to destroy myself by destroying The More Than A Rib that has been sent for me by the almighty himself. While that insecurity of her being more than I can be (ARMY.#Always ready to be married and yoked).. is on one shoulder and jealousy is on the other bigger and bolder not understanding that God will not give anyone my blessings nor will he give anyone elses blessing to me. And as half ass prayers go up and supersized blessings come down I look into the mirror of my soul and see a clown that has tricked off his blessing because playstation has me playing instead of praying and tricking instead of picking the right choices and utilizing the many voices that can change the existence of who I ought to be. All this digging and I am still plagued with compromising decisions and self inflicted incisions that trumps any stand your ground law or public 2014 Erick Garner lynching and the flaw is knowing that I am still digging and I cant seem to change the course knowing that I am the source of the change I need. Theses mistakes (shovels) make my hands bleed. But I think I am going to keep on digging take a stance and stop jigging so the jigaboos (MY OWN PEOPLE #CRABSINABARRELL) stop tearing at the fiber of my soul and from the cloth I am cut from. I have to continue digging because no digging means no living at least without regret and a piece of mind and a mind at peace and whatever you call success (#STRESS). Its funny some people call success what I call failure and we live on the same street, drive the same car, and see the same stars, so is my definition really that far fetched or is my mentality so far off that instead of digging this hole I should be filling it?????.......I guess I have more digging to do if I want to uncover the truth right??WRONG!!!! I THINK I AM Done digging and I THINK I WILL START FUL-FILLING THE RESPONSIBILITES OF MAN (AT LEAST FOR THE LIST YOU HAVE TODAY). THE FIRST THING I NEED TO DO IS ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I NEED TO BECOME A BETTER ONE #DONE
Posted on: Thu, 31 Jul 2014 20:47:18 +0000
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