Three Parenting Principles The Three Parenting Principles described in the following chapters are literally essential if you want to raise happy, well-adjusted kids. Think of these Three Parenting Principles as the three legs of a stool. If you use only two of the legs, you will fall over. If you don’t use any of the legs, you will not be supported and will find yourself on the floor. The Three Principles have evolved from my decades of clinical work, as well as extensive review of hundreds of books and articles about kids and parenting. And they do work. Will these Principles make it so that your child will always be- have? Of course not. But you can rest assured that the consistent application of these Principles will help you be the best parent you can be and help your child become the best kid your child can be. #1 PRINCIPLE : BE A SAFE HARBOR—Create a secure base for your child and ensure that you and your child have a healthy attachment. #2 PRINCIPLE : BE A GOOD BOSS—Set firm limits and demand in a loving way that your child accept your rules and his or her responsibilities. #3 PRINCIPLE :PREPARE THEM FOR THE REAL WORLD—Give your child what he needs rather than what he wants and teach him the importance of being part of a larger community. The urgency in learning and applying the Three Parenting Principles depends upon your circumstances. For example, if you and your family are essentially stress free, if you have no mental or physical conditions that run in your family, if you and your child are completely healthy and happy, and if your family has never experienced any traumas or life tragedies, then your child is much less likely to progress from normal developmental problems to severe behavioral problems. However, even if you are this fortunate, you can still enhance your chances of raising a happy child if you follow the Three Principles. On the other hand, if your home or family has experienced a high degree of stress or adversity or if your child has significant temperamental, biological, or genetic problems, then you run a significant risk of having a child who displays severe problem behaviors. For you, the Three Parenting Principles are a must. Once you learn about the Three Parenting Principles you may discover that you need to modify or even radically alter your parenting style. This requires changing habits, and habits by definition are hard to break. But using the Three Parenting Principles will give you a peace you may have never experienced before. And, as you adopt these parenting techniques, you will see your child change in wonderful ways. Because each person in your family is an individual and the combination of personalities in your family is unique, you will find that solving problems takes flexibility and imagination. But my Three Parenting Principles are basic to human development, and I will show you how to adapt them to a variety of family characteristics, culture, religion, and beliefs.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Jun 2013 01:36:12 +0000
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